Dark Halo - Poetry

Disappear

I need to get out of here
I want to run away but that's not very "adult"
Of me is it?
When you get sick it's never about my mind
Vomiting words I wouldn't dare to speak,
When you get hurt it's not just knees bleeding,
But later on my wrists too.
Matching the bleeding lines in my heart,
When I beat myself black and blue
I'm not a drug addict or a smoker but I feel like I'm a young adult dying 
Pushed to the breaking point
Of calamity I call me.
I'm just a spiral going downward
Like monochrome watercolor
Leaking into my bones.
I'm a lier running a culprit scheme of how long
Before my alrights are finally interpreted as I'm not doing so fine.
If I could become a literal ghost and disappear,
I would.
Then I wouldn't feel sorry for leaving everyone behind.