Dark Halo - Poetry

Shadows

I feel out of control,
But not in the way you think.
I can will myself to please you,
Blowing a breath into the breeze
As the shadows in my head strangle me
But you can't see it, can you?
I can sense you coming from the way you move
As if you branded your footprints on my brain.
Oh how my brain screams when someone comes
Yeah you could say "it's just trauma"
But it's more than eggshells being stepped on,
I crush my own eggshells to bits
Where other people stood over my heavy body.
Maybe I just want to see you smile while I bleed,
Make you see how good I'm doing,
Like your my parent and I could force you
To play with my toys while all they did was throw them away.
But whatever it is,
Self-control isn't my best friend anymore.