Tears (A Corpse Party Fanfiction)

Chapter 1 - Guilt

I ran.

I ran as fast as my two legs can carry me, without looking back, and with the teddy bear held tight in my arms.

I can't believe he wanted me to smile, thinking that nothing has ever happened. Like he ever lost someone in his life...

Exhaustion begins to loom in, and I slowed down to a stop in front of a bench at a park. I immediately took a seat, and catch my breath as I begin to think again.

I just shouted at him. Just like how I shouted at my dad.

No! He's a selfish prick, that's who he is. Who would ever like a person like him?

I stood up, and left the park empty-handed but I could care less about anything at that point other than going home and rest for the day.

Minutes later, I reached home, shouted my greetings to mom, and went upstairs to my room. I used the remainder of dusk to take a shower and have dinner before going back to my room to sit down on my chair in front of my studying desk, which is full of my school books and other miscellanies.

I begin to think again, about his words.

"Please smile."

I shook. Those were his only words at the end of the date, nothing else. Nothing hostile, insulting, and revolting. No venom in any of the words that came out of his lips, and yet I shouted at him rather harshly.

"I wish you died in that school!"

That was way too harsh! I raised a hand to my mouth in... Guilt? The same kind of guilt that I felt when I shouted at Seiko, before I hung her. Then, the name-callings surge back into my memories.

"You're a coward, Insensitive, Selfish!"

He's none of those. In fact, he is the total opposite of what were included in that sentence.

He is brave.

He is sensitive.

He is selfless.

As for me?

I'm a coward. I should've never ran away like that.

I'm insensitive. I should've known that he's trying to comfort me after all that's happened.

I'm selfish. I only thought of myself on those three occasions, with my Dad, Seiko and him respectively.

I put my arms on the desk, and rested my chin on them. At that moment, I saw a photograph slipped in beneath some manga. I slid it out, and my heart shook as I see it's content.

It's a photograph of me and him back in middle school. To think I wore that blue smock back then as well just like Yuka...

Then it hit me. I was exactly like her as well, too immature for my age, lashing out like that. But never once did he hurt me, instead he cared. I reminisced my past with him, my childhood friend. If he never met me at that swing set at the park, maybe I would've never known anything about such selflessness. I would've died many times in that school if it weren't for him.

Like that one time I was found hanging myself after I hung Seiko, the moment he saved me from a flood of vengeful ghosts in the hallway, saving me from falling rubble while looking for a way out... And those words are the ones I said to him as repayment?

I stared at the photograph, at our smiles as I am lost in my memories, memories that warms my heart and my very being.

"I don't want to lose you too!"

"As a reminder of how close we are. Will you keep a promise? Please, don't ever leave my side."

"I'll keep the promise. Even till the day I die."

I remembered those words... When I gave him those plushies and forged a promise. At that moment, my heart beats faster as I thought of all that happened between me and him. I turned to face the mirror in my room, and made a small smile...

"Please smile."

And I did it, just like he wanted. But he is not here to witness it... And to hear what I felt about him. I need to apologize to him right now.

Just as I thought about apologizing, I widened my eyes as I remembered that I have left that teddy bear that he won at the park... I was about to head out again when thunder strikes down.

No...

And as I feared, I looked out the window to see that it has been raining hard, accompanied by strong winds which destroyed my attempt to get out.

Maybe plans have changed, I need to apologize to him via phone. I picked my phone up from the table, and scrolled down the contacts.

"Morishige... Wait a minute."

The last time I checked my contacts, those who died in Heavenly Host had their numbers vanished. And yet there is this spectacled bard's name back on my list... Since when did I added his number back? I scrolled down to 'Sa' since I used his first name, but no... It's not there. I never recalled deleting his number.

That does it. I shut off my phone, and decided. I decided to go to his house and apologize directly... Because without him...

I'm nothing