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"How are you holding up?"
The days after her confrontation with Spencer had been tough on her. She had pretty much closed herself off and refused to talk to anyone. Ryan had given her space, allowing her to process what had happened as well as her emotions but when she had refused to talk to him, he had called Derek with the hope that he would get through to her.
Sera sighed, "I don't want to talk about it."
"Look, you know I love you but you can't keep bottling this up. I know you're angry, hurt and scared but you have worked so hard to learn to be more open, become happier and more trusting. Do not let this throw you back into that hole. You have worked too hard. Ryan's worried about you." Derek spoke.
Sera shook her head, "I don't want to talk about it. Please don't make me."
"You can't keep this bottled up. You need to let it out. Don't let it consume you." Derek pressured. He knew she needed to get it out. He hated seeing her so upset, especially because of someone he considered a little brother. She didn't deserve to suffer because of the choices someone else made.
She shot up in her chair, "I hate this. I hate what he has done to me. I can't trust anyone anymore, especially myself. I was finally so happy but he keeps coming back and ruining it for me. Why won't he let me happy?!" She wanted nothing more than to forget ever meeting Spencer. He had done nothing but ruin her, emotionally and mentally. Why couldn't she get away from him? Why did he want to hurt her so much?
Derek moved to hold her as she cried, "Nothing I say is going to make you feel better but you can't keep bottling this up or shutting out the people that care about you. I hate seeing you like this. I know you're scared but you have so much good in your life. Don't let this take away your happiness." No one should continue to be haunted by something that has traumatised them so much, especially not someone as amazing as Sera.
"I know know what to do," she cried out before continuing, "The nightmares won't stop so I can't sleep or eat, the voice in my head is getting louder and I constantly feel like I can't breathe. Ryan doesn't deserve this. He deserves someone that doesn't have so much package. I hate this. I just want it all to stop."
Derek shook his head, "He loves you, nothing is going to change that. He doesn't care what baggage you have as long as you're happy. I know you're scared but you're not alone. You will get through this, just please let us help. We want to help you." He knew how hard it was for anyone to seek help but she was carrying so much on her shoulders and needed all the help she could get.
"I don't even know where to start."
"That's okay. Just say yes."
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"I'm sorry."
Ryan sighed as Seraburied her face in the pillow, "You have nothing to be sorry for. I love you. I knew what I was getting into when I asked you to be my girlfriend. I know it hasn't been easy for you but you have been through a lot so it's understandable. I would never hold it against you. I love you. I want nothing more than for you to be happy but I can't do it alone. We promised we would be a team, so please let me help you." He loved her and wanted nothing more than to vanquish all her demons but he couldn't if she wasn't willing.
"I'm sorry. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I feel like I'm slowly my mind. I'm scared you're going to think I'm not worth it anymore, that I don't make you happy anymore or that you deserve someone that doesn't have so much baggage. I'm sorry." Sera cried as she hugged her pillow tighter. Ryan had been the light at the end of the tunnel and now, she felt like she was slowly losing him and that was the last thing she wanted.
Ryan moved so he was laying behind her and wrapped his arms around her, "I love you. I know you're struggling but I'm not going anywhere. I want to be her, I want to help and I want to make you happy. Let me make you happy?"
Sera broke into sobs as he held her tighter. Neither said anything as she continued to cry. She was releasing days worth of anger, frustration and hurt. It had all bubbled over. Ryan kept whispering soothing words while rubbing her arms, as she began losing the grip on the pillow.
"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I love you." He whispered.
Sera sniffed as she began wiping her tears away, "I don't know what to do. I don't want to feel like this anymore. I want to be happy. I want to feel like I'm in control of my life." She was crying out for help and Ryan vowed that he was going to be with her every step of the way.
"That's okay. We will get you the help you need. We will be with you every step of the way. It's okay to struggle, it's okay to not be okay and it's definitely okay to not know how to ask for help. I know you're struggling but you have people that love and care about you that will do everything they can to see you happy again. You will get through this, I promise." Ryan promised.
"How do you know? How do you know I will get through this?"
"Because you are not alone. It's okay not to be okay. We all love you and be here for you, no matter what."
