Probinsyana series #02:Chasing my Probinsyana

Prologue

'In the gloomy night, may you never lurked in your shadow. Let the moonlight cross in your window." 

"I did it. Losing you once is unbearable. However, repeating it once more is quite terrifying. And I don't want to make it happen again."

I know that life makes it hard for you, for me... for her. We all fuck up on the way up, or maybe not. It was all on me. You're living your life in bliss but I ruined it. I came in. It sucks to know the truth. I just get to realize things when I already left nothing.

I already failed you. I hurt her.

And I swear that it's not easy. It's sickening hard. Time always heals but it's slow. It takes years before I finally composed myself again.

"Thank you for making me realized a lot of things along the process of what I want in life, Helliyah. I love you but you're now gone. I am now letting my heart free from the caged of your memory. I need to live my life in such the way that you want me to be. I'll never forget you."

Rest in peace, love.

"Daeshim? Is that you, Hijo?"

Automatically, I turned to look at my back when I heard a familiar voice. It's Tita Haze— Helliyah's Mom.

She never changed a lot. She still wears her perfect smile and looks as sophisticated and gorgeous as she used before.

Parang hindi man lang nawalan ng pinakamamahal na Anak.

"Hello po, Tita." I smiled.

"You came back. How are you? How's your doing in the state?"

She asked after putting a fresh bouquet of tulips on the right side of her daughter's grave.

"Doing better now, Tita."

"Hahaha, you still never change. Ang tipid mo pa ring magsalita." She even laughed.

I don't know what to say so I remain silent.

"Kailan ka pa dumating? How are your parents?"

"Just now. They're doing great, still hands-on our business."

"That's great! I'm glad. So, you're staying here for good?"

"Ah, yes. My parents are planning to extend their branches here this year. They still working on it. So while waiting, I accepted the invitation to teach in a prestigious school here and might handle the sports department in the meantime."

"Hmm, that's good. Good luck, Hijo."

"Thank you, Tita. How about you?" I tried to ask and even escorted her to be seated in a greeny field, just inches away from her daughter.

"Well, I already succeed with my therapy, Hijo. And I'm going out in the country this coming month. You know, vacation lang. Masyado rin kasing mapilit si Shasha na dalawin ko muna sila sa Canada."

She was referring to Helliyah's younger sister.

"I see. Have a safe flight po, Tita."

"Thanks, Hijo." She sighed. "I miss my daughter so much. Siguro kung nandito pa siya ngayon, baka magkasama pa ulit kaming pupunta ng Canada o baka sinalubong ka na rin niya ng yakap." She smiled in tears.

I remained silent.

"Pero okay lang, alam kong masaya na siya kung nasan man siya ngayon. At alam kong, wala rin siyang hinahangad ngayon kundi ang maging masaya na ulit tayong lahat at makalaya sa nakaraan." She added before looking at me again.

Her teary eyes are visible but she's smiling. Weird. But I even saw her in her mother's features. I know. I know that she's happy in her place right now.

"Kaya ikaw na bata ka, piliin mo ng maging masaya ha? Masyadong limitado lang ang oras natin sa mundong 'to kaya sulitin mo ang bawat segundo. Piliin mo ng maging masaya, wag mong hayaang lamunin ka ng nakaraan. Huwag mong pigilan ang sarili mong maging masaya. Tapos mo ng napasaya ang anak ko, tapos na ang mission mo sa kaniya. At staka alam ko na may isang tao pang nananalangin sa malayo para sa pagdating mo. Kaya kilos na dahil hindi na kailan man naibabalik ang bawat minuto."

I lost some words to say. I just shed my tears a little.

"Naiintindihan mo ba ako, Daeshim?"

"Yes, tita. Thank you for letting me be a part of your daughter's life."

"Nah, thank you for making my daughter feel serenity even in her short life. You did great. Now, go and be happy with someone you truly deserve."

At that point, I know it has finished. The story of mine and Helliyah.

But still not with my spoiled li'l brat probinsyana.

She never get tired to chased me before. So, maybe now is the time to win her back. I hope so.

I'll chase you no matter how hard it is. I'm gonna held you hard captivated.

Kazmira Allea Del Venez.

I will chase you until you'll get tired and makes me your resting place for the rest of your life.
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