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Chapter 20 - The Past, The Children Know (Kaden POV) Part 2

A/N: NOT EDITED. So because I took a nap I was up all night, trying to sleep and failed so eventually I gave up and typed this chapter up.

Chapter 20 — The Past, The Children Know (Kaden POV) Part 2

We build a routine in the short days leading up to Tristan and Sawyer's birthday, Etta and I wake together, we go for a swim, we work on our adult relationship while our children sleep, take small minutes to our self. I work, harder, eager than ever to learn my love again, because she's changed. She isn't the girl I loved when I was just a boy. She isn't the still young woman I met again years later ready to pull a heartless farce over on her. She's this new person, that has grown, developed changed and become someone I consider myself lucky to be around.

"I'm sure all the other yous I've forgotten are lovely, but I think I'm partial to this one," I whisper my arms curled around her body, her skin on mine. My limbs burning deliciously for all the right reasons, she laughs deeply not questioning my statement, but sighing contently. I lower my face, my nose, dragging it feather like over soft caramel brown skin, from her arm, over to her shoulder, inhaling deeply at her neck. "Thank you," the words don't seem like enough, I know they aren't enough. I had done wrong by her multiple times yet, she was willing to let me inside her heart, shower me with pure love that I didn't deserve but craved nonetheless.

Turning, her chest against mine, a serene smile on her face, "We both made mistakes — we can't keep score Kaden."

"I'm not keeping score, I'm just looking to build something good here, and if there is one thing I'm sure, my biggest mistake was probably not telling you how I felt sometimes, not wanting to be weak or little. I tried hard to not be that little boy I was heartbroken, but in doing that, I know that I made mistakes. Like now, for whatever reason if I ever forgot you or the children, I wouldn't want you to just let me be and let me figure it out on my own in my own time. I can't be away from you for that long Etta, the thought now is without a doubt one of my greatest fears."

I try to not seem small or less manly by speaking — telling her how I feel — knowing that there won't be any rejection reflected back at my hard to even utter words.

"There won't be a next time," she says with such authority. "You're mine, and a father Kaden," no more chasing vampires, with less authority but I know that she wants me to agree. I close my eyes listening to her heartbeat, and then pushing my limit and reaching out to our children, the steady even thuds warm my heart. My grayish blue eyes meet butterscotch mixed with brown and green, "I won't go chasing them, but some need to be taken care of, however," I backtrack quickly, "I do have my people working on that. I won't go doing the jobs we get, but I will oversee it all," I remain honest.

When she sighs, I can feel the worry about things that haven't happened yet bringing her under, weighing her down, "What?"

"In a few years, I think four or five we leave the island and move too some place..." she mumbles and I know this is something she's seen recently like our daughter who doesn't get visions from the distance future like her mother. But like Etta, before it can overwhelm her, we've had Sawyer start to write down what she daydreams in her own journal, for her eyes alone. Knowing the things she does, Etta explained that writing it down sometimes helps with taking her mind off of it, and before it could impact Sawyer's little mind, we started this now.

"Where are we moving?"

She closes her eyes, showing me, a lovely large home, three floors, the mountains behind green and full of safety, a manicured lawn and path leads to another and so on, and as I close my eyes and follow her own thought, we see our children a bit older, teenagers maybe, smiling. I keep my eyes closed, the smile on Sawyer's face, the squeal of Vivian and the thoughtfulness on Tristan's face the last thing I think before sleep pulls me under.