Tws\cws: depression, suicide attempt, hospitalization, implied manipulation, implied sa (sexual assault)
FUCK YOU A. I LOVED YOU. I LOVED YOU SO FUCKING MUCH THAT I SPENT NIGHTS SOBBING BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T FEEL THE SAME, AND THEN YOU DID.
I was on such a high from joy that I didn't see the tell tale signs.
I got so fucking depressed and so fucking sad, but you saved my life without even knowing.
That little purple car you gave me in the Concord, and the stormtrooper figure you gave me when my nan drove you home, they saved my life.
I wanted to commit so so much, and I tried, and I saw the little car and the little stormtrooper, and one thought took over my head.
I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE HIM.
So I called the paramedics, I went to the hospital, they took my bloods, I stayed overnight, I met with the crisis team, I got into therapy.
All so I didn't leave you.
I should have.
I should have left you in the fucking dust.
You just used me for venting and protection and fame and my body.
I don't know which hurts more;
the fact I ignored my gut feeling that something was wrong,
or the fact that you took advantage of me so goddamn easily just because you were my friend first.
I've said it once and I'll say it again;
FUCK YOU, A.
looks like I'm moving away from my current city the second I'm old enough.
there was me thinking that I could stay here, not have any ghosts chasing me in this city, but no.
at least London has the tube line. I always did like the idea of taking a train to work.
Oh, and A? If you happen to be seeing this, then kindly fuck off and never talk to me again. I don't want to see you again in my life.
- Error
P.S- the A in Random Book- Potholes is the same A as this A.
Dear Past Me,
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"I fear having to open this playlist again."
how very stupid of you.
it was inevitable, darling.
