My Favorite Red Heads

What If?-W.M

❗️Warnings: Self harm, depression, mentions of starving self, blood, vent piece❗️

(Please if your not in the right mindset DO NOT READ!)

Walking through the compound you went to the fridge grabbing a water then popping some gum in your mouth, that was all you had for the last week and a half. Your girlfriend had been gone a mission desperately missing her more than you'd admit to everyone who asked if you was okay, even more so you relapsed last night after being clean for almost three months promising you would be fine. This was the worst you've been in a while already being upset and sick before Wanda left making it worse when the two day mission turned into longer..sleepless nights, not eating, pathetically wearing all her clothes to smell her. Shutting the door to the messy clothes in the corner..your bed a mess for never leaving it..then her clothes sprawled out across your bed this was stupid you thought to yourself. You laid there for another seven hours until it was almost four in the morning you were having urges really bad grabbing your phone calling her phone once more,
"Hey this is Wanda, I can't answer the phone right now. Leave me a message and either myself or my girlfriend will get back to you, have a nice day." Your heart internally shattered making a knot form in your stomach tears falling rapidly throwing your phone across the room somewhere crying into her hoodie. Getting up from the bed locking yourself in the bathroom sliding down the door holding your head sobs rang out through the inclosed room, jerking the drawer open grabbing a fresh razor taking a deep breath. TW-You started making marks along your thighs rapidly blood dripping onto the floor stinging as the cool air hit them while also feeling like they were on fire. You eventually passed out from exhaustion on the floor eyes blinking waking up in Wanda's bed how did you end up here? Your legs were bandaged, hair was somewhat wet, an insane amount of guilt rose knowing this was Wanda's doing; bile rose in your throat running to her bathroom flinging the lid open throwing up into the toilet. You felt a hand placed on your back rubbing in small circles making you cry more as you finished dry heaving,
"Shhh your alright моя дорогая (my darling), I'm right here I promise."Wanda pulled you into her arms squeezing you tight as you sobbed into her shirt she was wearing rubbing your back rocking side to side.
"I-I'm so sorry wans."You cried she only shushed you kissing your head multiple times feeling her squeeze you tighter clinging to her as if she would disappear from your arms,
"Don't apologize sweetheart..I hate I wasn't here for you, I knew I shouldn't have left."She sounded like she was mentally scolding herself making you feel even worse for making her feel this way, it was always all your fault anything and everything.
"It's my fault...I'm sorry I didn't call you..I..just got low and I didn't know what to do."You started to get worked up again she pulled you away from her neck making you look her in the face kissing your forehead,
"It's over now your okay..I won't be going anywhere for a while. I took some time off to be able to be here with you, because you are my top priority принцесса (princess.)"The woman told you rubbing the tear streaks off both of your cheeks sniffling folding your body back into her body letting her hold you.
"What if we take some time off together and go back to Oregon? You liked it down there and we still own that cabin."Wanda suggested you nodded smiling a bit thinking about last summer staying down there for like a month being able to be left alone.
"I think I would like that."You mustered up and said voice hoarse from crying chuckling against her just drowning in her comfort missing her scent more than anything,
"I missed you so much Wanda."You pleaded in a small whisper only she could heard being so close to you smiling kissing your head rubbing your arm as you laid against her.
"I missed you кукла (doll)..so much more than you realize. All I could think about was getting home to you, I could feel how off it was being down there and not here."Your girlfriend explained sighing at the end you knew she was probably tired from the mission and having to stay up to bandage and clean you up, while no doubt cleaning your room and taking back her clothes in the process.
"Can we go to sleep baby?"You asked she nodded looking almost relieved standing with you still in her arms making you giggle at her strength as she dropped onto the bed with you,
"Oh I've missed this comfortable bed as well."Wanda groaned at the relief you snuggled up to her warm body as she made a blanket appear over the both of you using her magic to turn her lights off.
"I love you wandie."You smiled she blushed heavily at the nickname you only knew about and she only let you call her that other than Pietro,
"I love you pretty girl..now sleep you need it just as much as I do."She replied groggily closing your finally letting yourself sleep for the first time in a whole week, she laid awake stroking your hair comfortingly enjoying the feeling of your weight on top of her it was really hard for her to sleep without you most days. She was always glad to come back home to the one person she could count on to stick around and love her for her, hopefully you would be more willing to talk and eat tomorrow morning she thought to herself. Hopefully.