"So what, it's just attraction?"

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"Enough for the class, have a good day everybody" And with that he juggled all his belongings and took leave from the room. The way his eyes were glued to the ground said he were hiding from someone particular's watch, and that one, was me.

"Mr Kim didn't feel like himself today.." Came Laura from the seat on my right, the blonde girl who has been on my nerves since this week, going on and on about how great Mr Kim's teaching is. Well sure, it might be that too, but the whole campus was aware of the charm his face carried, every class he lectured and every room he passed by.

"You felt that too?" Gasped Jamie from my left. If it weren't for them, i wouldn't have dared to join the lecture today, but apparently my syllabus was more important than the bubbling embarrassment of having confessed to the professor you've been crushing and attending his lectures the next day.

"Im telling you, it's definitely some girl shit"

I felt my cheeks heat up, fists curling white on the book.

"Damn, four months and he's already getting involved?Well, that doesn't sound like him" Jamie wondered, her face resting on her bent wrist.

My eyes were looking for a certain person to talk to, but both these girls made it difficult to be the ones who'd agree upon my decisions. Of course, it wasnt like i had talked to them about it.

With a soft bang on the desk, i left the room without any comments or questions to answer. Why are all girls so judgy in my campus? I huffed.

"Yn!" Laura called from behind but i was way past the door, definitely not interested in pretending to actually hear them. I knew they would later catch up in the cafeteria, and continue talking about whatever shit was going around. And i deserved a break from it.

Of course i hadn't told Laura about it, and i felt guilty for biasing one close friend over the other. But sometimes it's just the concept that needs to be shared with that particular person who would actually understand.

For Jamie, this girl, she's been my superstar since first year on this campus. The year later when Laura joined, was the time that our bond stretched a little. The divided attention did bother me for obvious reasons, but i didn't let her know. I know i would phase it out, it was what she'd be like after, that worried me more. But, she made it sure to keep it taut though, the friendship tie, strong enough to hold on. It was a blessing.

"Jamie, I'm going to the terrace for some air, just letting you know okay?" I called Jamie whilst walking up the stairs, catching my breath now and then. Of course i felt bad for giving a cold shoulder to my girl. I couldn't afford to keep her unknown of my happenings.

"No problem, but i wont agree with you missing the Spanish test today, vale?"

"Por supuesto Jam," I replied simultaneously with the short breaths and slowly opened the door to the open sky terrace.

It was blue and bright, the sky that covered upon my head. The sun wasn't scorching harsh today, but a little warmer and softer than usual to note. I wasn't the one to appreciate high altitudes alone, but the sky has always been a friend and a great company during the me-time.

The terrace was clean, something I'd give credit to the number of clubs who pledge to work for the betterment of our environment. Well rumours had it, that they were collecting funds for a little garden up here. God knows.

All the crap was gone, and although there was no shade to sit, the dusty benches and little cactus pot plants were my favourite sight, other than the open sky.

"What are you doing here?" I turned to the voice that seemed to come from a far distance and froze on my feet. What was i being pulled into?

"Taking a short break, sir" I don't know where did that tone come from, the intention of mock and rivalry, disagreement in the choice of words that were supposed to be said. I didn't know.

He sighed, moving to the edge of roof, a burning ciggerate lying placid between his fingers. I noticed he'd took off his thin white glasses, along with the blazer that would be taut to his shoulders. His expressions were raw to my sight, the most beautiful sight I'd seen.

He took a drag and let his hand rest on his folded one, white clouds of smoke effortlessly sliding out. I decided to turn my gaze to the better and cleaner clouds above but my body took the stand beside him, still on my place, suffocating in the gray air.

"So what, it's just attraction?" He turned his head to me, the foul smell scrunching my nose. I itched to stand farther away.

"Yea, to name it"

He sighed, shifting on his feet.

"Sexually?"

"Theres more to it....you wont know" I folded my hands behind my back and turned to stroll. The wind had picked up the pace, just the right time for a short walk. I could sense him joining me, the stick no longer in his fingers.

"Well, i want to know, but whatever you expect, it's forbidden"

My eyes furrowed and lips tightened in a thin line.

He chuckled. "Ha, well you must know that already,"

I checked my watch, there was still time before i had to join the girls chat room, mostly because all the gossips ran through the campus in that time.

"But what's more?" His curiousity had me turning away, avoiding to look into them, those eyes who caught a charm, the sight of every passer-by's who stopped to look into.

"The way you talk, pausing in between words for a dramatic effect, the chuckle followed by, your dressing style and most importantly the book that you carry around in your hand. It looks like the most precious thing to you, yet mysterious that for some reason has a lock to it. There's ways to attraction no one has thought about, this one's mine" I gave him a side smile and turned to continue another round.

Now walking in the direction of the breeze, my heart leaped at the flow of it between my hair locks, floating my heart to ecstacy. It was a confession, a more detailed one, atleast better than a small anonymous letter that I'd sent earlier. Typical school girl.

"Well, that blows my mind," He paused, like he does, and i know it's not for my good, so i decide not to look at him right away.

"But, nothing's gonna mess up my life, more than if i agree to accept your feelings. I truly respect and appreciate your thoughts, but we both know what's the journey. You wouldn't want that life dear. You're far more smarter to understand that."

I nodded quickly, as if to shove the tears that threatened to fall. He was right, i was smart enough not to cry in front of him, but my heart wasn't a genius is hiding my emotions. They were always on my lips, never knowing when to fall into words.

"And, about that book, you're the first and the last person, and let that be, to tell you bout it. It's my late wife's diary i carry everyday, whom i tutored in my university days like a good classmate i was supposed to be. She described the way i explained things in lessons in this book, and that's what I plan on holding to, the style, the way she loved, for all my teaching life."

"I need to leave now, but it's not a literal end i suppose." And he left with another ciggerate lit between his lips, the smoke drifting behind his path.

My phone buzzed, and agonizingly i pulled my eyes off his figure and looked for a message from Jamie.

"YN, THE TEST"

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, taking in as much air as i could from the blow of wind, and left for downstairs. I decided never to return back here, to realise i fell prey to things that could destroy myself, first, but also to the other.






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