BTS One-shots

[2] I'm nothing you want

3 months later:

The cup that was lying on the table, had gone cold. It was dark, and all i did was stare at the darkness untill the much needed sleep could hover me. I could smell the hot noodles that might be walking towards my room door. The door clicked, and i prepared myself to pretend sleep, shuting my eyes.

"Yn.." He called out, the aroma filling in my nostrils under the blanket. My insides curled in, craving and folding in and out, without a sensation of hunger.

It had been more than a week or so, i wasn't sure. The only day i could remember was the day Taehyung took me for a walk and we talked our hearts, sharing secrets and realisations we never did being in a relationship.

He decided to stay. For a reason i was so unsure to be true. He said he cared, which wasn't unexpected but surprising to think about after how ugly the break up was.

He had made the decision for me so i made the decision for myself to deny but he continued coming for the appointments, the sonography and the shopping. I couldn't deny his happiness that he'd feel a little smile climbing on his lips, hearing her heartbeat.

Untill i could make a decision about Taehyung's presence in my life, everything turned to dust when the last visit to the hospital broke all the thoughts away.

"I know you're not asleep." I froze my body, avoiding any minor movement. As if i wasn't even under the blankets, as if they were just pillows to fool someone.

"Yn!" He tore the blanket apart my body, throwing it to the other side of the bed. I curled into torse, the light coming from the open door itching my eyes.

"Get up and eat." He ordered, standing tall in front, hands folded on the chest.

I shook my head, turning on my back, whilst finding the blanket, if thrown any nearer.

"Fine" He pushed his hand under my back, and another under my thighs lifting my body in a swift motion.

I gasped, clutching on his shirt for support. His eyes found me, scanning through my face while biting his pale lips. He could've seen the dark eye bags and the faded shine in my eyes, worn out face and unchapped lips. I felt more fragile in his arms, wanting to clash into pieces.

"You've to eat no matter what" He held me close, tight in his arms.

"I don't feel like," I mumbled, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"I know you don't, but sometimes you should listen to me as well." With that, he took me to the kitchen and i hid my face in the crook of his neck.

"You want me to feed you?" His eyes were concerned but not once did he cry, and i wondered how.

"No, i can eat by myself" Slowly slurping the noodles, i sneaked a look at him, a little gloss in the eyes was visible though my own were blurred.

"You?" He stood up and walked to the counter, returning with a bowl. The living room which was brightly lit with white lights, contrasted the yellow kitchen lighting. I wondered who chose yellow for the kitchen.

"Taehyung," He looked up from his bowl, with a look of attention. I decided to continue.

"Why did you have to stay with me all these months?"

My eyes scanned his face, his own staring back at me.

"Why are you still here knowing there's nothing that's keeping you from leaving? Why are you sitting with me and mourning the loss of my child?"

"It was our baby, for god's sake yn!" He snapped.

His clutched fist banged, vibrating the utensils spread across the table. His sharp eyes glowing red and nose flared with rage, i felt the forgotten fear from past months.

I gulped, sweating profusely in my seat.

"Everytime I can't tell you that i really did care for our child, that i cared for you, that i was relieved to have you back in life and that i regret each of my actions before the breakup!"

"I love you and i care for you," He sighed.
"I'm not saying this to hear it back, i just want to make sure you remember it"

He stood up and left to the balcony, leaving me vulnerable, confused and mournful for everything happening in my life. I didn't want to go behind him, but i couldn't stop my tears either way.

An hour later he joined me in bed, slowly and carefully sneaking behind my back.
His hand fell on my arm and i pulled it to my stomach, leaning in his frame.

"Taehyung, she's gone, all because of me" The tears flowed but the urge to wail didn't hide inside my chest but rather shook from my core.

"Yn," He let quite tears on my back.

"I killed her Tae"

"Yn,no, we have to accept...she's.. gone," His throat blocked the tears, sniffing. His hands held on tight.

" to a better place....."

We sobbed till the night died down, sobbed till the pain could numb, sobbed till no tears left and no wail could ever come out.