Travelling River

Six

{Juniper}

It's around 23:00 when I get back to my room. My room is big, with a beautiful bathroom attached to it, bathtub and all. There's big windows leading out to a balcony, covered by luxurious velvet curtains. The luxury was something completely opposite of how the rest of tour would be, cramped up in a bus with no shower, or separate rooms. I definitely didn't need such a big and luxurious room, in fact it made me a bit uncomfortable. I especially didn't like having such a big room all to myself. Being by myself in general was a bit of a struggle, not that I didn't like my alone time every now and then. I just really like being surrounded by people, it's why tour was so perfect for me. I knew right now all my crew got their own separate rooms, but that has been different in the past. Me being the boss, I always get my own room, and the biggest too. It's not something I ask for, quite the opposite, but Bobby insists, "That's how it works, kid." Usually I ask Hazel or Sonny to share my room with me. But since everyone got their own room while we were staying here, I figured I'd just accept my lonely night this time. Sonny and Hazel weren't as extroverted as me, they definitely needed alone time, whereas it was more of an option for me. Usually they'd share a room, so when one of them would stay in my room, the other would get their much needed introvert time. And me, I'd get my much needed extrovert time, win win.

There was something else too, to the whole not liking to be alone thing. It's the darkness, the quiet. Yes, I'm 24 and yes, I'm still afraid of the dark. On top of that my brain isn't wired exactly right, the darkness can be difficult in more ways than one. Most days it's okay, but some days it can still creep up on me, and I'd rather not be alone when it does, it can be so all consuming. But like I said, tonight I will just have to accept that I'm spending the night alone. Besides, it's not the worst thing to have a whole king-sized bed to myself.

I decided to check social media a little before going to bed. I know it's not good to scroll through your phone right before bed, but does anyone really listen to that anyways? I haven't posted on Instagram in a while now, life has just been so busy. As a result my notifications are quite calm. You wouldn't believe the overflow of DM's, likes and comments I get sometimes. Especially since I'm not nearly as big of an artist as you might think. Sure I've got this tour through the continent, but compared to some pop artists, I'm nothing. And you know what, I'm quite okay with that. I am happy having my own little unique audience, my songs are personal and I wouldn't want the whole world listening to them. I like the smaller audiences, it feels more intimate and special. I have a lot of unopened DM's from before. I try my best to read them whenever I can, and reply as well, but sometimes it's just overwhelming. And like I said, life has just been happening lately, which kind of made me forget social media. So unopened DM's it is. I'm not sure I feel up for going through all that now, but out of curiosity I decide to check anyways. Most DM's are from a a few days back, but the top one is only from a few hours ago. I open it, out of pure curiosity, the worst it can be is another love letter, or an unsolicited d*ck pic, nothing I haven't dealt with before.