My Life Story. (Mental Health Awareness)

dissociation. it kicks my ass.

!TW! Mentions of dissociation and trauma!

My dissociation can be either good, mid or bad. Most of the time, about 80%, it's pretty mid. Roughly around 5% of the time it's good, and then the other 15% of the time it's really bad. Today, 10/07/22, it's been in between mid and bad. 

I understand why I have this dissociation, and it's quite sad how folk get dissociation. (If you don't know how, look up "how do people get dissociation" on google). At first I had no idea why or how I had it, but after watching Dissociadid on YouTube, it really helped me understand. 

When it first hit me, it was really bad. Like, it hit me all at once and I'd never expreienced it before, so I was confused and also scared because nothing looked or felt real. I as sat, staring right between my omni flag and my curtain (they're right next to eachother) and I didn't know what was going on. I was just thinking to myself, "is this going to last forever?" and now, I know it actually will. I'm not sad about it lasting forever, I'm more understanding than anything. Because, I know that it's my brains way of coping with everything, without this dissociation, I would break down or have a panic attack at the slightest trigger, because the trauma would be far too much to have. The dissociation needs to be there so then, I can funtion and live the rest of my life. 

sorry that this part isn't the longest. as you can see, I haven't published something in quite a while due to extremely low mental health. Hope you all can understand.