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By the time we return to Cousins Beach, the morning is here. There are low moody clouds hanging above the ocean as the storm from the last few days dissipates. The air is thick with salt and heavy with melancholy. I feel like I can barely breathe as I stand on the sand with the back of my ankles pressing into the last step of the beach house's porch. My body feels weak and my eyes are glazed over. The rush of emotions from the accident has put me into a trance and I'm thankful the pain of almost losing Steven has been extinguished for the time being.
I left a message for Dr. Whittaker, explaining what happened and now I wait for her call back. The nearly six weeks of journaling my feelings about returning to Cousins Beach has been a huge journey for me but with Steve and Miranda in the hospital, I feel like it's going to put me back at square one. I feel fragile and the urge to drink until I forget everything is pressing upon me; if there was any booze in the house, I would've consumed it all by now.
Even if Steve and Miranda are okay, it's the fact their future will be impacted by this car crash and their wedding will most likely be put on hold until they are better. I think about having to inform their guests and it sets off a wheel of emotions that I'm not ready to deal with. Tears spring to my eyes and I tell myself to not think about it - not yet. But the lack of sleep and food has made my brain unhinged, and I tell myself that I need both before I do anything.
My body shivers from the cool morning air and I head back inside, thinking about my bed. I find Rosie in the kitchen, making food. I wonder how long she's been in here and how long I've been standing outside. It feels like hours since the last time I saw her. She looks at me and the sadness in her emerald-colored eyes makes me miserable. I wish I could erase the last nine hours. She doesn't deserve this; I don't deserve this.
I watch as Rosie licks a spoonful of the batter and that's when I register what's happening. Rosie has been baking muffins but not just any muffins; she's been busy whipping up a batch of Susannah's famous blueberry muffins. The smell hits me and immediately, I'm taken back to my childhood and the feeling of wanting Susannah back is all too overwhelming.
A couple of tears fall down my cheeks and I wipe them away. Rosie looks at me with concern and worry. I shake my head and walk over, my steps laborious because of the exhaustion sweeping through my limbs. I see that she's wearing Susannah's old apron and I lose it; a wave of fresh tears shudder through me and Rosie immediately stops what she's doing, and wraps her arms around me.
I cry into her shoulder, my body trembling with sobs. I numbed myself out from missing my mother for so long and it's all coming out now. I don't stop until the buzzer that's on the stove goes off and even then, it takes Rosie a while to peel herself away from me. She reaches her hands up and wipes the wetness from my cheeks, and I see that she's been crying too. Rosie looks so beautiful right now with her red, blotchy face and runny nose. I can't believe she's still here with me because there's the small but growing fear that she will leave soon. Her life isn't in Cousins Beach, nor with me. But I want it to be.
She plants a tiny kiss on the side of my jaw and I nearly lose it again. I've been such a fool because Rosie has been right here, right under my nose, this entire time. She's here for a reason and I think that reason is me.
Rosie puts on the lobster-themed oven mitts and pulls out two trays of the muffins that are perfectly round on top, and perfectly golden. They smell heavenly; my mouth begins to drool and my stomach gurgles. Our little pizza party feels like it happened twenty years ago.
Rosie pulls one out of the tin, wincing as it burns her fingers but that doesn't stop her. She places it on the kitchen island and grabs a knife to slice it open. Steam wafts off and the blueberries ooze. She takes a little piece, blows on it, and places it into her mouth. She repeats the process before bringing it up to my lips and feeding it to me like I'm a helpless child. My heart swells. I'm so totally and utterly in love with Rosie.
I chew and swallow, and open my mouth to speak. The words are right there but it's how Rosie is looking up at me right now that makes me forget the world. She's shaking her head and putting more of the blueberry muffin into my mouth.
Rosie murmurs, her voice husky, and grief-stricken, "Let's not talk right now."
She's right. We don't have to talk because our eyes and our bodies do all the communicating. I offer her a bite and she does the same. We happily feed each other bits of muffin until I can't stand it anymore. I need to know how Rosie tastes. In one swift swoop, I lean down and kiss her. She eagerly kisses back.
Her lips are sugary and fruity. The perfect combination. I want our tongues to meet but Rosie pulls back.
She sheepishly asks me, "Do you want to be eating muffins out of my mouth like a baby bird?"
And at that moment I know that I'm going to eventually marry this girl. I can't help but smile at her, "Yes-"
We eat four more muffins. Rosie splits them between us and we feed each other in silence. I'm happy that words do not need to be spoken right now because I have no idea what to say. All I know is that I want Rosie in every single way. When we're finally finished, I'm stuffed and plagued with a sleepy delirium. I just want to sleep.
Rosie must read my mind because she grabs my hand and leads me upstairs to my room, and closes the door behind us. I blush when I realize just how messy it is with my stuff thrown everywhere. But Rosie doesn't seem to mind and she carefully steps over every pile on the floor, and when she's finally standing by the bed, she begins to discard her own clothing. I watch in awe. Her body is beautiful. My cheeks flush pink as she takes off her bra but leaves on her panties and lays down on the unmade bed.
I force myself to look away because it feels wrong. I look at everything in the room except for the half-naked Rosie who's laying in my bed; this is something I desired for so long but now that it's happening, I don't know what to do with myself. I start to feel panicky.
"Jere," She murmurs in a hushed tone. I look at her and she's giving me this sleepy, half-smile that sends my heart into a frenzy. She pats the spot next to her, "Come lay down."
I nod, swallowing hard. I take off my own shirt and pants, leaving my boxers on. When I'm close enough to the bed, Rosie grabs my arm and pulls me down with her. She plants a single kiss on the side of my neck and wraps her arms around me as best she can, and to my surprise, becomes the big spoon. Rosie's skin is warm against mine and it's simply exquisite having her pressed against me. I nearly lose myself in her touch and I have to remind myself to breathe.
She caresses my chest with a slow, purposeful touch. It introduces me to a state of calm that I've never known before. Sleep seemed so impossible but now, as we lay in the dimly lit room of my childhood, the cool salty air seeping in through the open window, it comes with swift ease. The sandman carries me off into a sleep plagued by worriment and memories of Steve, Belly, and Conrad.
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Ahhhh how are there so many of you reading!!! I've almost hit 2k reads and it's INSANE to me. I worked really hard on this story for the last year and it means a lot. Anyways, I was going to add a smutty scene in this chapter but I'm not sure how many of you want to read that kind of stuff?
Also just a shameless plug but if you like TrueBlood,TheBatman(RobertPattinson),andEDDIEMUNSON from the new season of STRANGER THINGS - check out my other work! My True Blood story is a bit slower to update meanwhile The Batman is updated weekly.
But once again, a HUGE THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO IS READING, VOTING, COMMENTING, AND SUBSCRIBING <3 Please keep it up. Love y'all.
