Shadows and Shades (#4 Post-Order 66 Series)

Shadows and Shades - Part 12

Voices and squealing of children outside the bedroom window roused Crosshair from a restful sleep. His eyes opened blearily as he glowered at the shadows moving past the window in the early morning light.

"You'd think they'd keep their kriffing voices down until the sun was all the way up," Iden muttered, burying her head under her pillow in a huff.

"At least it's a holiday and we don't have to go into work," Crosshair rasped, rolling over and tucking his arm around her, nuzzling at the base of her neck. He inhaled the scent of her soap before placing a soft kiss to the skin, feeling her shudder slightly in his arms.

"Holidays are supposed to mean sleeping in," Iden grumbled, her voice muffled by the pillow.

"Some people like to rise with the sun, darling."

"Yeah, well I'm not one of those people," she groaned. "Some of us need our beauty sleep."

Crosshair pressed his lips to the spot where her neck met her shoulders, before nipping gently with his teeth. "Oh come now, Lieutenant. I'd argue you don't need much of that."

Iden ducked her head back out from underneath the pillow so that he would be certain to see her eye roll. "Aren't you the charmer this morning?"

"Aren't I always?"

"No."

He huffed an indignant snort, giving her ass a playful swat before rolling onto his back. "Happy Empire Day, I suppose."

It was Iden's turn to express her indignation in the form of a raspberry, her tongue poking out from between her lips. "That's what I say to that."

"You've always had a way with words," he joked dryly.

Iden rolled over, draping her leg over his hip, her fingers lightly tracing the scars that peppered the skin of his chest as she tucked her head into the crook of his shoulder. "Where were you for the first two?"

Crosshair sighed. "First one, in prison. Second one, out, somewhere with my brothers. Can't even remember that one honestly. Might have passed while we were traveling somewhere."

Iden's face shifted at his words, her brows knitting together. "You never talk much about your time in prison."

He shrugged. "Not much to tell. I spent my days pacing my cell, doing push ups and crunches and whatever other exercise I could think of to try and pass the time. Got three meals a day. Not much else went on. It gave me plenty of time to think when my head didn't feel like it was going to split in two from the chip deteriorating."

"What did you think about?" she asked quietly.

His eyes stayed focused on the ceiling, but his fingers slipped over to interlace with hers. "My brothers, mostly. What I'd have done differently. If I was a monster or not. I wasn't being dramatic when I told Gerrera that I see the faces of those I killed every night." He sighed. "I spent so much time trying to discern which atrocities were my decision and which weren't. Some days, I'm still not sure."

Iden propped herself up on her elbow, taking his chin in her fingers to tilt his gaze to meet hers. "I know that it wasn't you."

"You didn't know me then."

Iden slipped from underneath the covers, straddling his waist and leaning down to cup his face in her hands, her fingers sliding through his beard before she pressed her forehead to his. Her thumbs stroked his cheeks. "I know you, Crosshair. And that's enough." She kissed his forehead. "You couldn't have done those things." Her lips peppered his cheeks. "You're not that monster you fear." Finally, she pressed her mouth to his gently, grazing their noses together. "You're not one of them, my love."