Fever Dream

Fever Dream 1

"Pete....I'm sorry"

"I'm sorry...."

"I–"

Never once in my life, I've ever imagined begging someone. I–Vegas Theerapanyakul–begged?

"Stay with me. Can you promise you won't leave me?"

My eyes are blurry. It felt like a dream-like he would disappear when I open my eyes. He–Pete.

"I promise, I won't hurt you again. I'm sorry I made you feel that way. I can't be apart from you, Pete. I have no one but you. You came and changed me, to make me want to be a better person. Don't leave me. Stay with me here, Pete. I like myself every time I'm with you...stay here." I hugged him and tremble with fear of losing the only person who makes me feel like I am also a human, deserving of love.

"Pete–"

Those plead echoes inside my head as if there is a broken radio that keeps on reminding me to keep holding into this person–yet, where is this person? Why does everything seem so hallow and dark?

Where's–Pete?

I gasped for air followed by a sharp pain that crept into my head as soon as I regain my consciousness. Everything seems fussy. There are people walking around and a few more standing as if they are guarding someone.

My eyes adjusted to the light and a familiar voice follows, "Hey...how are you?" it was my brother. Macao.

I didn't answer. I am so confused about what has been happening.

My dad and Macao started arguing beside me but nothing comes into my head. Empty. Hallow. Darkness.

A doctor I recognized walked in but I didn't give a damn about what he was asking. I want to know, I want to confirm, I want to see him.

My eyes immediately scan the room. Macao and a few bodyguards are here and of course the doctor. I am not interested in any of them but then, my eyes stopped on one particular person.

"Nop..." I hurriedly called the startled idiot but he walks near me, "Pete. Where's Pete?"

I started to fidget with as many thoughts as had been running thru my head.

'Is he hungry?'

'Did he eat?'

'Is he okay?'

'Is he still–waiting in my room?'

My idiot bodyguard shook his head, "Pete? Who's Pete, Boss Vegas?"

Macao on the side looks anxious as soon as I pulled Nop's collar by force, "Where's Pete?!? Nop, answer me. Pete is still in the room right?!?" I wanted to hear an answer from him. I won't believe anything not unless it came out of this idiot's mouth. I wanna know, I want to make sure, where's my Pete.

He didn't answer. In fact, he looks very confused by my question.

"Hey, hey. Calm down. What are you talking about, P'?" Macao pulled me away from Nop.

My head hurts, my body hurts, and above all, my heart hurts.

"How did I get here Macao?" I asked my brother. My breathing is uneven as I tried to recall all the memories in my head.

My brother sits right next to me on the edge of the hospital bed, "Two nights ago P', I visited you in your room because you promised that we will watch late-night movies together, but you weren't answering when I knocked so I went inside and saw you sweating like crazy and mumbling words so I called P'Top and he told me to bring you in the hospital–"

'Two days?'

"You were running on high fever for two whole days P'," I don't know what to say because clearly, I remember everything, but Macao would not lie to me–he would never do that to me.

My chest is rising quickly, "But–" what was all of it? "Pete–"

"P', are you talking about P'Pete from the main house? P'Tankhun's head bodyguard?" Macao asked and my head snaps in his direction.

'Did he know?'

I nod my head without answering, "Why are you looking for him P'? He is probably watching some series or looking after that crazy P'Khun," and to my disappointment, Macao might be right.

I didn't utter a single word and laid my heavy body back on the bed.

Macao calls me a couple of times but I already closed my eyes as I drown in the sea of memories that Pete and I shared.

The days and nights inside my room.

The way he sulks whenever he's hungry.

The first noodles I cooked for him.

The first kiss we shared.

The way I kissed his forehead every time I leave.

And the way his body fits perfectly to my embrace every time we sleep at night.

Was that all–a fever dream?