Flower in the Flame (The Scattered Series - Book #1)

Chapter Ten

10 | Nadia Spencer

"She won't come home tonight." His mumble drowns me in sorrow for him. I regard him for a long moment, watch the way his sooty lashes brush his swollen and dark under-eyes. Does he even sleep? 

 I watch Billie push his tongue against the inside of his cheek and lift his thick eyebrows, a silent indication of his hurt and annoyance regarding the situation. Gingerly, I lift a finger to smooth down the wrinkle caused by the tension of his frown. His skin is surprisingly soft, his brows weirdly defined - does he wax them? 

"Does it upset you?"

I lower my hand as he lifts his index to tap at his bottom lip, which is slightly fuller than the upper one. It looks pillow-soft, perfect for taking between my teeth and tugging at. It's as if he's begging for my eyes to linger on the perfect pink bodies as he drags down his finger from his lip. I so badly want to know what those lips feel like against the sensitive skin of my throat. My mind is totally stranded in the gutter. 

He looks up at the ceiling, taking such careful consideration for such a simple question. 

After I'd cleaned up his hand, he ushered me onto the couch and told me he had a great movie for me to watch, that I haven't lived unless I've watched this movie. But so far, no movie has been played – we've just sat, talked. 

Billie takes a strand of my chestnut hair, rolling the pads of his fingers against each other with my hair between them. "Not anymore, no." His gaze is honest as ever when he looks at me. I want to tell him every one of my secrets if it guarantees he will always look at me that way. This all feels so wrong, listening to my boyfriend's father murmur soft words about his broken marriage. I'm unsure if Carter is even my boyfriend anymore, but still does this feel wrong. 

Tilting back my head so I can look at him properly, I can't help but wonder what Madeline would say if she saw us. Nothing about this was incriminating, other than my thoughts. Besides, I'm sure it's just me who is making this something it isn't with my sudden but irksome urge to have Billie close to me. We're sat beside each other. Talking. Like normal people. There's nothing wrong with this.

"Billie." I whisper, his name feels like sweet butter on my tongue. "Why do you stay with her?"

He dips his head, chuckling to himself but he's not at all laughing. "She'll destroy my career, I'm sure of it. I'm stuck." Ever so slowly, I lift my hand to press my palm to his cheek. His whiskers of stubble kiss my skin, somehow both rough and gentle. 

He stills, his only movement being the roll of his throat when he swallows. "You'll figure it out." My reassurance probably isn't helpful, but he nods slowly as if I've just given him the most invaluable piece of advice.

"Nadia," He leans into my touch and drags his thumb down my nose, feeling over the slight crook on the bridge. He lifts his touch away just to replace it, this time in the corner of my lower lip. He slowly drags his touch until he meets the slight dip in the middle of my lip. His own lips quirk in a smile. "What's this?" He touches his nail to the dent in my bottom lip. I suck in a deep breath.

"I got punched on my first day of high school. He was wearing a ring." I tack a smile to the end of my sentence. "Why?" He tilts his head, lowers his thumb so it brushes down my chin where he grips it with his thumb, index, and middle fingers.

"Can't remember, but probably because I was mouthy... and a bitch." The barest shrug accompanies my words, and he chuckles, guiding my face towards his with the gentle lift of his wrist. "You are mouthy." He nods in agreement, "a bitch, too." We're so close now I can feel his breath on my lips, beckoning me closer. 

"Can I kiss you?" His question sparks to life a million butterflies in my stomach. 

He wants to kiss me. 

He's my boyfriend's dad, this is so wrong. 

The nod of my head is so slow and subtle I'm surprised he notices it. But he does, because he's leaning in and closing his eyes and I feel giddy with anticipation. Except he never captures me in a kiss. I don't get the chance to test his lips and see if they taste of his cherry brandy. 

Because my phone rings.

Billie draws back so fast it's as if we were never close. He's stood, pacing, his hands locked behind his head. "Fuck, Nadia. Why did you let me do that?" What the fuck?

I pull out my phone. Missed Call from Benny that damn boy has been a cock block since we were 16. "Don't blame me for this! You asked to kiss me." I unlock my phone and send a quick text to Ben asking what he wants. When I look up, Billie is rolling back on his heels and tipping back his head. "You're my son's girlfriend."

"Probably not for much longer, Billie Joe." I get up, cheeks flush with humiliation. I was going to let him kiss me. I regard him for a second before walking out the living room. Or trying to. He catches me by the wrist. "Nadia," I can barely feel the gentle tug he gives. 

Hesitantly, I pivot towards him. He's still, watching me for the longest moment before he's stepping forwards and cupping my cheeks in his hands. "Break up with him. Leave him, Nadia." He's whispering but his voice is laced with everything of lust and sin. "I'll treat you better. I'll treat you like a queen. I'll give you the world." His words are like a breath of fresh air and I want to breathe him in. I want him to tell me over and over that he will be good for me. I want to hear his whispers as he tries to convince me he's worth a minute of my time.

"Fuck." Billie mumbles as his eyes search mine. His hands pressed harder against my cheeks, his thumbs brushing back and forth over my skin in unison. "I will never let anyone hurt you again, I promise." His words are destroying me and putting me back together all at the same time. Maybe there's hope for me, maybe he can be the love I've wanted for so long.

I close my eyes as he presses his forehead to mine. My heart is slamming against my ribcage so hard it might shatter the bones, but I don't mind. I want him to shatter me.

When he pulls away, there's something else that hangs in the atmosphere. Then he slams his lips to mine harshly, like he's a man starved and only I can cure that. It's a mess of teeth and tongue and breathed cusses as he grabs me behind the knees and hoists me up. I wrap my legs around his hips. He steps forward so my back hits the wall and his hands are all over me, memorising every curve of my body.

He runs his tongue along my bottom lip before he's kissing it, pulling back with it between his teeth. I can't hold back my gasp. Billie pulls away. "Nadia," he says my name like it's only his to use and he needs to taste it on his tongue. "Is this okay?" His question melts me.

"This is okay, Billie." I bury my hands into his hair, and he makes a low guttural noise. "Say that again. Say my name again."

I whisper his name again and he groans into my mouth, his fingertips inching my shirt up and rough against my skin from years of wear on his guitars. "Break up with him." His breath is hot against my skin as he pulls from our kiss to drag his tongue over my throat, leaving a trail of heat in his wake. "I'll be twice the man he was. I'll give you everything you need." I can only nod in response and when he pulls away, I feel like I'm missing something.

Billie lowers me to the floor, his hand on the small of my back in support. "You're beautiful." He tucks some hair behind my ear and takes me by the chin to tilt my head up until my eyes meet his. He smiles, the curl of his lips only slight, before he dips his head to kiss me again. This time he's slow, gentle, savouring the taste of me. 

He does taste of cherry brandy. 

His tongue meets mine, traces the seam of my bottom lip, his hands hungry as he grows more bold and allows himself to feel up my sides, palms tracing every inch of me. I pull away to scatter my own kisses to his neck. When I suck at the soft bit of skin between his jaw and ear, his head drops back and his grip tightens on me. Abruptly, he pulls my body firmer against his, and I can feel his erection against my thigh, hard with desire. Desire for me. 

"The things I'm going to do to you," He groans, his fingers digging into my skin ever so lightly.  

The front door opens just as his lips meet mine again, and we can't pull away fast enough.