not how it's supposed to go

all the years i've given (is just shit we're dividing up)

"Hey, wake up."

Yelena scrunches her face, burying it in the pillows and trying to go back to sleep.

Sleep is so comfortable and peaceful and absent of thought. She doesn't have to worry about Natasha when she's asleep (especially not anymore, she was a rare dreamer before all of the Natasha BS and now things have resumed to something much the same).

"Lena, come on, you've been asleep like all day," Kate says, shaking her shoulder a little harder.

Yelena grunts, pulling her blanket over her head. She just wants to sleep and ignore everything going on.

She hears Kate's sigh and the bed dips next to her, signifying that Kate's now on the bed. It moves a little under her weight and creaks quietly before Kate speaks again.

"Did you know that Taylor Swift grew up on a-"

"Oh Jesus Christ, Kate Bishop," Yelena groans, whipping the blanket off and glaring at her girlfriend.

"You're so easy," Kate laughs, rolling on to her side to look at Yelena's face, "she grew up on a Christmas tree farm. In Pennsylvania."

"You are obsessed," Yelena deadpans before blinking sleep out of her eyes and flexing her legs, stretching.

"Mm, a lil' bit," Kate reaches out and strokes Yelena's hair out of her face, "There's a theory that went around in 2016 that Tom Hiddleston was Loki's doppelgänger. Or that they were that angel twin evil twin trope. Taylor wrote Getaway Car about him."

"You have so much useless knowledge," Yelena says softly, leaning into the touch ever-so-slightly. Something about the gentle feeling of Kate's fingers brushing over her hair is just so soothing and irresistible. She remembers early in their relationship that the thought of that was more scary than comforting, but now it's second nature to be comforted by being around her girl.

"The world was boring when everyone was blipped," Kate defends herself, moving over so she can fully cuddle up to Yelena.

Yelena fits herself against Kate's side, resting her head on the brunette's shoulder, "Is Natasha here?"

Kate's quiet, fingers still running through Yelena's hair, "Yeah. She and Wanda are downstairs with the kids watching TV. They ate dinner already, too. I meant it when I said you've been asleep all day."

Yelena rolls her eyes even though Kate can't see her do it.

"Did you save any food for me, Kate Bishop?"

"Maybe," Kate responds, and it's quiet again between the two of them.

Yelena's always had mixed feelings about quietness being that there are multiple types of it. There's the nice quiet, reserved for nights in and mainly Kate being in her presence. Then there's the bad quiet, the quiet that's so tense that any movement is a risk of setting something off, the quiet that she grew up in and can't seem to escape some nights.

Recently, though, the nice quiet has been more prevalent, but it's been accompanied by a new uneasiness. Something that Yelena's yet to understand because really, nothing's changed. Something had to have changed, though, maybe it was her brain, because quiet has been less comforting and more nerve-inducing.

She's found ways to cope through it, exercising her patience by recounting the lines of a Taylor Swift song that Kate introduced her to that she somehow took a liking to, epiphany.

She doesn't know why it's so nice to her, she's not used to things being overtly comforting if they're not physically there.

Yet she finds herself tapping out the rhythm of the song as she goes through the lyrics, with you I serve, with you I fall down, and then watch you breathing, watching you breathing out .