not how it's supposed to go

the idea you had of me, who was she?

Natasha leans back on her arms, watching everyone around and socializing as they all simmer down from the excitement of the day. Everyone's kind of sectioned themselves off for the time being with Wanda helping Laura with s'mores and the bonfire, Kate and Yelena talking twenty feet away while laying on one of the blankets, and Clint and Lila shooting at the targets (yes, still). Nathan was put to bed a couple of hours ago seeing as it's almost ten o'clock now and Cooper offered to make sure he was safe.

Sam and Bucky come over to sit with her, and Natasha looks between them, trying to figure out if what she's thought is true is actually true.

"So, how was it being dead for two years?" Sam asks, interrupting her train of thought.

Natasha smiles slightly, "It was boring. How about you, Captain America? When'd that happen?"

Sam goes on to explain the whole story of the Flag Smashers and Zemo and John Walker. It feels like a headrush of a story and Natasha's a little blown away by how much happened.

"I'm glad Steve chose you," Natasha says quietly, grief settling itself in her stomach. She still really can't believe that one of her best friends is dead. She sits up, shifting and readjusting herself, "When we came up with everything and checked up on our wills, he asked me if he was making the right decision in choosing you and I knew it was."

Sam smiles sadly, "Thanks, Nat."

"Of course," Natasha replies, "What about you, Bucky? Anything new happen?"

Bucky shakes his head, flexing the fingers of his prosthetic as if to remind himself that it's there, "Just trying to do better."

"Uh huh," Natasha nods, looking at the two of them again. It still doesn't feel like she has enough proof to ask.

Their silence is broken by Wanda walking over and sitting down next to Natasha, "Hi."

"Hey," Natasha smiles as Wanda kisses her cheek.

"How's everything going with you two?" Bucky asks, nodding at how Wanda has an arm wrapped around Natasha's waist and has given Natasha her drink to take a sip from.

"It's good," Natasha replies, handing Wanda her drink back, "We're gonna move to the city for a couple months when Kate and Yelena go back. I probably also will have to come out of hiding, which is just... weird."

"Yeah, I still can't believe you're alive," Sam comments, "When did you... come back?"

"The day after Laura's birthday," Natasha responds, letting Wanda draw open circles on her palm as she talks. Something's obviously off about her if the furrowing of her eyebrows is to say anything. She continues regardless, "I woke up in our house and left so that I could figure out what was going on, only to find out that everyone was staying here. So I left for no fucking reason."

"At least you're here now," Wanda says softly and Natasha squeezes her hand in response.

"Now I get to torture Clint for eternity," Natasha snorts, full-on laughing when Wanda slaps her arm.

The moment is broken by arguing a bit away and Natasha stiffens when she recognizes that it's Kate and Yelena.

"Give me a minute," she stands, walking quickly over to them. She steps between them, "Hey! Calm down."

"I'm very calm," Yelena mutters, glaring at Kate.

"What is the issue?" Natasha hisses, leveling them both hard stares.

"I made a stupid comment," Kate admits softly, looking a bit like a kicked puppy, "I was... I just- it came out wrong, okay? I'm not going to cheat on you, Lena."