Morgan

Chapter One - Love sucks

* I advise starting with Alberta if you haven't already, and working your way through the series in order*

As follows;
• Alberta
•Willa
•Harper
•Teddy
•Morgan
•Wren

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

***

My name is Morgan Keaton and if you had told me when I was seventeen and having my first dalliance with love and then, subsequently, heartache, that this would quite literally be the start of a lifetime of the stuff...I would have told you to fuck off and be quick smart about it.

I, Morgan Keaton, will not fall in love again.

Ive written that so much in my journal you could title it "loser" and it won't stop will it? I was clearly cursed at birth or before it, that or I was a cut throat bitch in a past life who deserves it. Either way, it sucks, love sucks, girls suck and I suck. The only love I can count on is that of my children, and especially when they want something from me.

I have had four long term relationships in my life so far. The teenage one. It lasted a year and a half. She was two years older than me, and stayed long enough to teach me a thing or two, some rather raunchy bedroom action, and also my first lesson of heartache when she ran off with an ex. I loved her, or so I and my heart thought, because let me tell you that first after taste of love, of heart ache, it felt like the end of the world...

It wasn't.

My second long term relationship was my first adult one, and quite literally, this time...it was  the end of my world as I knew it. Willa Jameson, a name that I will forever associate with the single most pure love I have ever tasted, felt and touched. She found me when I wasn't looking, and I hadn't wanted another taste of the love drug at the time, but in one weekend she smothered me and had me swallow it. It was a drug I had never had the pleasure of licking from my lips... a pure and unrelenting ecstasy, and the rolling in of a great fog that had me a little lost with only her hand visible to guide me home. When I had got to the end of that weekend when we met, she was the sun ray coming through the darkness. She drew me straight to her like a moth to a flame, and as we collided... I knew it then, this was the love of my life, and she was everything I had been looking for.

Willa and I had just over three years together. It was a step up from the last relationship, but it also meant that the bite this time, the bite would be poisoned, and if it had teeth, they would be fangs dripping with it, thrusting it's source into my veins so it could burn for an eternity, the greatest love I had ever known, lost. This time though with Willa it was different, she didn't break my heart. I did. I had wanted something so deeply that I wouldn't be able to keep her, and Willa loved me so purely that she released me to it, to my wants and dreams. That always seems to hurt more when I come back to it, because the love never went away, it just burned and burned and burned until I got so used to it. I numbed to it, and forced myself to find it again, elsewhere.

I would never find that kind again, and perhaps I shouldn't have been looking for it anymore, because I realise now that not all hearts are Willa's and not all love is given in the same way, from the soul. I think my error with my next relationship was that I was looking for Willa still, and Kristen was not Willa, not even close, and the longer I was with her, the more disappointed I was to realise it.

Jameson was born then, my first child, my only daughter, the first taste of love that lasted, an eternal tie created, and love suddenly felt more hopeful. The more in love with my child I was the more healed I became to the past, and the more healed I became, albeit a temporary healing until I saw her again, Willa, the less I wanted Kristen around. After a few years we were done, and honestly, I didn't cry over that one, not for me, only for my daughter as she had got a little attached, but Jameson was not created with Kristen...I had got pregnant solo before I even met her. So, it was easier for Kristen to just leave and not turn back, and I was glad of that. I didn't want to have a walking, talking reminder of another failed relationship hanging around.