A Silence Full of Sound

Chapter 17

Trying to explain my day to Sammy got harder as we walked. It seemed I didn't know how to explain the feeling I was feeling without hurting Sammy.

How do you tell your brother that you've just spent the day with one of the only people that understand what you're going through?

Hunter was an outsider. He was alone. He was just trying to get his way through the day.

As was I.

I told Sammy about what happened with Alice and her obnoxious boyfriend. I could see Sammy getting riled up as I went further into the story.

"That absolute piece of something I'm too nice to sign." Sammy signed. The anger was evident on his face, the vein on his forehead was threatening to explode again.

Sammy couldn't believe that Alice didn't help me. He couldn't believe someone that was so nice to me at the beginning of the year could change so easily, and just because of a guy.

I couldn't tell Sammy about ditching class. He'd actually kill me. I wouldn't survive the rest of the day, let alone the rest of the senior year.

I said goodbye to Sammy as I made my way to my tree. Walking, I couldn't stop seeing Hunter's face. The concern very prominent in his eyes.

Hunter's jacket was draped over my shoulders as I walked up to the tree. I waved hi to Daniel as I sat and pulled out my latest book journey, "To Kill a Mockingbird."

I could see similarities between myself and Scout. As a young child I was always the tomboy. Always the girl running around in denim, never dresses. I was exploring and going on adventures instead of the stereotypical girlie things, like painting my nails or fixing my makeup. My hair was always thrown into messy buns, and I never bothered how I looked.

But not only that, Scout Finch is observant. She's intelligent beyond her age, knowing the difference between right and wrong. She's fair, and not judgemental. She's not afraid to stand up for what's right and wrong.  She defends Boo even when the rest of the village is afraid of him.

She's not afraid of what other people think of her. That's the part I wish I was more similar to. I wish I could be carefree and not worry about what everyone thought of me. I wish I could go about free, completely unaware of the stares and whispers going on behind my back.

But I could not.

The park was quiet, there weren't many people roaming around today apart from a group of teenagers playing a game of football not too far away. The tree looked majestic and Daniel's bench glistened as the sun set behind it. The flowers around the bench had withered and were slowly dying.

I couldn't help but looks at the fallen petals. They were scattered around the bench like discarded confetti. It seemed wrong that they were there. I felt bad. Daniel deserved more flowers. He deserved more people to remember him.

I couldn't help but re-read the memorial note.

'Love Mum and Dad and H'.... H....

It took me a couple of moments to realise. Now it made sense. Daniel, as in Daniel J. Wilson. H as in Hunter.

THE Hunter... my Hunter...

Wait, no. Not my Hunter... He couldn't be MY Hunter.

He was just Hunter.

What is wrong with me?

Somebody had scored in the game of football. Some kids stormed around, faces reflecting the anger and guilt. I could see, even within this distance, the mouths of boys moving so quickly it was hard to tell what they were shouting.

One kid had gone off to collect the ball, as another had kicked it through frustration. The ball had flown all the way to the other side of the park. He had quite a bit to run.

I wrapped Hunter's jacket around me tighter. The smell from the jacket washed over me and I allowed it to swallow me up. Somehow warmth rushed through at just the thought of Hunter. The chill was coming in, but the tree was blocking most of the cold wind. It was almost as if Daniel was protecting me.

I couldn't help but speculate what might have happened to Daniel. He was in the military, that much I knew. But how had it happened? I hadn't the heart to ask Hunter. He had nearly broke down trying to tell me about it.

He was hurting. I could understand that.

Without realising it, I found myself stroking the jacket. Trying, somehow to send comfort to Hunter. As if he were connected to the jacket. As if he were connected to me.

I placed my book down to the side. Since I've been at the tree I have read a total of 5 words. I couldn't concentrate on Scout, or Boo Radley. I couldn't concentrate on that at all.

My mind was racing. Completely and utterly.

With that I felt my phone vibrate next to me.

"Hey gorgeous, fancy another date sometime? Lucas"

Lucas. Oh. I had forgotten about Lucas.

I had spent so much time thinking about Hunter, he hadn't even crossed my mind.

Lucas liked me. Lucas took me out on a date. Lucas has been very vocal, even now, about how he feels about me. And yet, here I am wrapped up in a boy that doesn't even want me. A boy that will never see me like that.

Here I was spending all my time worrying, and wondering about a boy when another perfectly amazing boy was lining up to take me out.

I didn't respond right away. I let my phone drop to the floor next to me. I just stared at the tree. The sun was setting and the light danced through the leaves. I allowed myself to get lost in the magic of it all.

Packing my book into my bag I started to make my way back home. It was getting late and I knew that Mum would be worried about me.

I said goodbye to Daniel before I left. I picked up my bag, swung it over my shoulder and started the journey back.

'Yeah. Another date sounds great.'