Totalitarianism 1

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 When I was a child, I hated school. I hated the world of meaningless control, of deprivation of freedom, of assigning the grades of children. Every child is irreplaceable and unique, but the school seemed to be a place where individualities of the children were stifled. My experience of education, which prioritized control and efficiency, wanted that to be the child's whole world, and deprived him or her of freedom and creativity. With an invisible sense of syncretism, it seeks to exclude the different. The member of there maintains his or her place by ridiculing someone else. At least it seemed like such a place to me.

When I was in primary school, there was a student who was treated coldly by the whole class. There was absolutely no reason for her to be treated unfairly by everyone. Being cold towards her for no reason quickly became the norm for the children.
I found the unidentified force behind them uncanny. However, what was even more shocking was that even the homeroom teacher was caught up in the process. The teacher who was in charge of that class chose to sympathize with the group that was tormenting her, instead of scolding the group that was senselessly and unfairly punishing just one child. When I saw that teacher treating her in a very cold manner, something in me had broken. Before that, I had perceived adults had been trustworthy. I thought the teacher had the role of embodying justice. For me, adults were completely different creatures who lived in a different world from children and were not afraid of them. I was convinced that there was indisputably right as well as wrong in the world, and that the adult was doing what was right. Then, for the first time, the suspicion surfaced in me that there may be no such thing as right in the world. Through that incident, I felt that there may be things that people are easily influenced by and things that they are not, but that there may be no absolutely correct standard in the world. I also felt the right things in the world might be the majority, which has strong power.

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