Through My Lens

Chapter 14

"I got the ice!" Liam calls as he enters the room. "Everything good?" he asks looking between a wide eyed Louis and a blushing Harry who had quickly separated once they heard the door opening. "w-what? Oh yeah all good Li, thanks for grabbing the ice." Harry says quickly standing up and taking the ice from Liam's hands and walking over to Louis placing it gently on his knee.

Louis is feeling like an emotional mess, he can't believe that he just kissed Harry. Embarrassed that Liam almost caught them, Happy that he finally got to kiss the boy he was in love with. But most of all terrified of how Harry is going to react. "Feel better?" Harry asks.

Louis just nods to afraid to open his mouth, fearful that whatever words come out won't be what he means to say. He can feel that stinging in his eyes and the lump in his throat as he fights back tears because what the fuck did he just do. "Good." Harry half smiles at the boy before standing up. "Well do you want to head back to the pool then?" He asks both Louis and Liam. "Yeah I am down. I have a race to win." Liam grins "Louis what about you bubs do you want to join?" Liam asks looking down at a sad Louis sitting on the bed. Louis shakes his head, he would much rather stay here then go back down to where Josh is.

"Do you want me to stay bubs?" Louis shakes his head once again. "Okay well we will be back then later bubs you know where to find us okay?" Louis just nods, staring down into his lap too afraid to make any sort of eye contact for fear that he will find a disgusted or angry face looking back at him.

Only once Louis hears the door opening then does Louis brave looking up, to see an empty room in front of him. Tears instantly fall from Louis eyes, rolling down his cheeks. Louis slowly makes his way to the bathroom where he finds himself starting at his reflection in the mirror.

Of course he left you Louis, the kiss was just a joke to him, he did it because he felt sorry for you. not because he cares about you. Harry doesn't care about you at all.

Louis tries to shake the thoughts that are bouncing around in his head, but the are fighting back stronger.

You should have listened to Josh, you are worthless, ugly, stupid, useless, good for nothing waste of skin.

"SHUT UP!" Louis screams crumpling to the cold tile floor curling up into a ball hands covering his ears in attempt to block out the noises.

"Stop it, stop it, stop it" Louis whimpers over and over again as he rocks his body back and forth. Begging the voices to stop, to give him some peace. Begging for silence, just one day of absolute silence.

Why did he have to kiss Harry, things were going so well up until this point, he was getting on so well with Harry, they were having laughs being proper mates. He felt like Harry was the one person in the world that he could feel safe with outside of Liam. But now one stupid, stupid mistake and its all ruined. After what feels like an eternity on the the floor, but in reality was only 20 minutes, Louis finds the energy to pull himself up off the floor.

Louis walks over to his and Harry's shared bed taking Harry's pillow and curling up against it, the tears start to blur Louis vision until he is left with nothing but darkness. Sleep over taking his sad tired body.

~

"Look Louis we need to talk." Harry says later that evening. "O-okay" Louis refuses to make eye contact with Harry. "That kiss, it was a mistake it should have never happened, look I like you Lou but only as a friend. You are way to young for me and you are my best friends brother. I should have never let it get this far. " Harry explained. Louis felt instantly tears pooling up into his eyes, it's not like he didn't see this coming he has been saying from the beginning that Harry only saw Louis as a friend if that. He is probably saying as a friend to be nice, if anything he is just Liam's little brother.