Chapter 5: Reflection

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Athena Pov

*Age 14*

For the past ten years, I've been trained to be a weapon for other people's strategic and personal gain. It frustrates me to no end, but this is how it must be for me to live past my 18th birthday, also known as my graduation. Things have changed with just four more years of completing my training. One of them being that James has become distant. Maggie says it's hard for him, being under so much pressure from the council. He is constantly fighting so he can stay in charge of my training. A fellow guard, Ray, has claimed he can train me more efficiently to receive the preferred results of the council.

James refers to him as a dangerous psycho extremist who is not to be underestimated. I've been told to steer clear of Ray as much as possible, but he seems to be intrigued by me. According to the council, my improvement has slowed over the last few years, meaning my training has doubled. I try not to take my frustrations out on James; he is doing all this for me, after all. As for Maggie, we have grown closer than ever. She is my mother, regardless of any file or blood test. She has been there for me my whole life, teaching me. She has never been a part of my physical training; that's all, James. Maggie made sure I got to learn just like any kid my age, as well as being a person I could talk to about anything. I was always eager to learn and willing to work hard for it, knowing each opportunity was a blessing. One of my favorite parts of my week is when Maggie brings me a new book, and I get to tell her about the one she gave me the week before. She always listens to everything, even if she's already read it. It may seem small, but knowing she isn't required to care or love me as her job and still does, means the world to me.

Another significant change is that since I was 10, I have been able to eat with the other prisoners of the ark once a day for an hour during lunch. Maggie thought it was best so I could learn socializing skills with kids my age but warned me to be careful. I'm not easily trusting because I know only a handful of people in my life, but I cared enough for Maggie to try it. She told me some were locked up for unfair circumstances just like me, but most were in for a legitimate reason, so be careful with who I choose to sit with. I think she wanted more than anything for me to find a friend. James only got the chancellor to agree with the rule that I let no one know of my project or anything about it and that I stay out of trouble. James was cautious and taught me how knowledge equals power, and the more people know about you, the more they hold power over you. He also agreed to it because he wanted me to use what I've learned to improve how to read and analyze body language. It wasn't exactly what I had in mind, but I accepted the challenge. I had minimal expectations for my time with the other prisoners, but I was grateful for my first taste of freedom.

I surprised myself; it turns out there's more to relationships than just family and friends. This brings me to Emma, my longest and closest friend. She is also my first love. We've known each other for almost four years and have been dating for two. She came to the skybox a few weeks after I started having lunches in the common area. I saw her and was instantly mesmerized, which was odd for me. I was intrigued and quickly learned she was arrested for stealing medicine for her mother, who was in desperate need of it, or she would die. As it turns out, her mother lived thanks to the medicine, and she visits Emma every other Thursday. One day I noticed an older boy was harassing Emma, and I couldn't help but defend the beautiful stranger. Long story short, I may have broken his hand, and to my luck, Dean was there to cover for me. He told everyone that he accidentally broke the boy's hand after trying to restrain him from attacking a fellow prisoner. It was self-defense, but no matter the case, I can't afford any mistakes. I was forever grateful Dean never told James, or I would have never seen my green-eyed beauty again.

Maggie has helped me process my feelings which made me realize she had my heart from day one, and it grew with each day we spent together. My emotions confused me to no end, and ill admit it scared me. She made me feel things I had never felt for another person before. Maggie explained that this was normal and that first love should not be taken lightly. It was a significant milestone that she was so happy to witness and thought I might never get to experience it due to my circumstances. She told me that if I wished to know a person's true self, all I had to do was look into their eyes. That the eyes betray us as they are a window to your soul. It was a lesson I took to heart. I realized just how much the eyes were a weakness to those they belonged to, but in Emma's case, hers were mine as well.

James was less than pleased but not for the reasons you think. He was happy for me but didn't want it to affect my training and warned that if the wrong people found out, the council would not hesitate to lock me back up for good. James wanted me to think through the logistics of a relationship long term. He was right. It wasn't logical, but I didn't care. I would find a way to make it work. When he saw how insistent I was, he told me that if I genuinely cared for her and didn't let it get in the way of my progress, he would put in a word for her at her trial. This gave her a chance at having a life again, and I would do anything to help provide that for her.

Then there's Octavia; I've known her for the past two years after she was arrested for being a second child just before she turned 12. She got caught during a surprise inspection, resulting in her mother being floated. Her being the only other known living second child made us bond rather quickly. It took longer than she would have liked and twice the effort, but I slowly ended up trusting her with my secret. As we grew closer, I couldn't help but feel the need to protect her. I made my status known that I was not to be messed with when I first started coming, and I ensured the other prisoners knew it was the same for Octavia. It helps when half the guards are your family and would protect you even though they know you don't need it. Octavia quickly became a part of that family as I started to see her as a sister.

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Just a little twist on Octavia's story and I added a new character/love interest! I tried to make it one chapter, but it was too long, and I had to make it into two. I realize this might be getting a bit boring, but I promise some shit goes down in the next chapter, and I'm sorry in advance! Let me know what you think!

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