Call it what you want

Love

Joe knew that he needed to talk to Taylor and he definitely shouldn't have sex with her again. After he spoke to Amelia he realized that she was right and he shouldn't let Taylor use him just for sex while he was so in love with her.

He went into their room and couldn't see Taylor at first. She wasn't in the bedroom so he assumed that she was in the bathroom.

"Taylor? Are you here?" He asked for her.

"I'm in the bathroom. What do you want?" She replied but her voice already sounded annoyed again.

"I need to talk to you."

"I will come in a few minutes." She said.

"But please don't be naked." Joe added just to make sure.

"Don't you enjoy it when I'm naked?" He heard her chuckle while she said that.

"No I don't." He lied. He loved it but he knew that he couldn't resist it. He heard Taylor laughing but when she came out a few minutes later she actually was dressed. She had her hair tide up in a bun and the few strands of hair that were behind her ear made her look even more cute to him.

"So what do you want to say?" She asked and sat down.

"I just want to talk to you without screaming and fighting with you."

"Go ahead." She said.

"I don't want you to use me. I know that you don't care about my feelings but I will tell you anyway. I'm in love with you and that is the only reason why it is so easy for you to get me and you know that. It hurts when someone you are in love with just uses you for sex. I want to sleep with you, I really do but I can't." He sighed and looked down.

"I don't want to use you but I can't do anything other. It is how I have always been." For the first time she looked sad while talking.

"What do you mean?" Joe asked.

"I always had sex with guys without any feelings." She stopped for a second and breathed in. "I'm unable to love." She looked into his eyes. Joe saw how hard it was for her to say this. She was telling him the truth.

"You never loved anyone?" He asked again even though it felt like it was useless to ask that question. She sighed and he could see how she struggled to answer.

"Never. I don't even know how it feels like." She said with teary eyes. Joe moved a bit closer to her and lay his hand next to her leg without touching her. He really felt like it wasn't the right moment to touch her.

"I can tell you how it feels." He offered. She looked into his eyes and wiped a tear from her eye with her finger before it rolled down. For a moment she didn't answer but Joe also didn't say anything else. He didn't want to force her to anything. After a while she just nodded to approve.

"It feels like you have known anyone for years even when you just know them for a few days. You think about them all the time even when you are alone. Every time, you are around them you feel a warm feeling inside you and your heart beats faster. It feels like there are butterflies inside your stomach. Some people say this is just a stupid saying but I think it is actually true. It really feels like butterflies. When you are in love with someone you are willing to share all of you with them. You feel home when you are near them and when you are away you can't wait to come home again. It is just that your whole body does weird things but sharing your life with someone can be the most amazing thing on earth." Joe tried to describe the feeling as good as he could. All the time he thought about the feeling he had for her and that she was sitting right in front of her.

"You feel that way for me?" She asked with a quiet voice. It sounded like she was afraid to ask that question.

"Yes, I feel all of that when it comes to you and that is why it hurts so much when you just want sex."

"Is the sex different? When you love someone?" She asked. He questions really surprised him. He never thought that she had questions like this.

"Sex isn't the most important thing anymore. When you love someone, sex isn't in first place all the time. Of course it is amazing to have sex but it isn't all that matters. Sex with love is so much better than just for fun because you really care for each other. That is why I don't want to have sex with you anymore." He said.

"You can't have sex without love?" She asked again.

"Yes."

"And I can't have sex with love." She looked down at his hand next to her leg.

"I don't think that this is true. Maybe you are not unable to love, you just never found the right person to love." He said and now he put his hand on her leg. She didn't complain and just looked into his blue eyes.

"I don't hate you Joe." She said but she stopped for a moment. "But I don't think that I love you either."

"It is okay. I can accept that. It hurts but I can cope with it as long as you stop wanting sex with me all the time." He sighed.

"Okay." She agreed and finally it seemed like she understood his problem and accepted it.

"Thank you." He said and took his hand away from her leg again.