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Even by after all the years you had been with Dutch, never had you seen him so aloof before. He was quickly becoming less of the Dutch you used to know, and into someone you didn't like with ideas that were selfish and careless. His self control was gone, with Micah feeding delusions into his head with every chance he got, like some devil on his shoulder.
After the death of Sean and Kieran, and the disturbing death of Bronte that Dutch had inflicted upon him, it was enough for you to take a step back and question what you truly wanted in your life. Was he worth risking your life for? Probably not, and so you were riddled with confusion and guilt over what your next steps should be. It was then that you pulled Arthur and Hosea aside privately, their faces telling the same story as yours, their growing distrust over Dutch.
"Look... i'm sure you both feel exactly the same as i do. But I can't do this anymore. First, Sean, then seeing Dutch feed Bronte to the alligator, and finally Kieran? He's becoming a man I no longer recognise," You began, and both Arthur and Hosea's face hardened with a tone of seriousness.
"I have to admit," Arthur began, "Everything's sure getting messy,"
"The Dutch I knew was so calm and collected," Hosea continued, "But the man I see now... he's easily influenced by that rat and his twisted words,"
"The man I loved isn't there anymore," You said, almost panicked as you knew you just couldn't stay with such a man as a leader or as your lover anymore, "And i'm not getting dragged down into this downward spiral,"
"I don't blame you," Arthur shook his head, his hand lightly resting on your shoulder, "You have a good life ahead of you unlike us degenerates. If you find a gap to slip out of this sorry excuse of a life, then take it,"
"Thank you," You nodded, a thin line forming on your lips, "For everything. You both are like family to me. I just hope that things turn out differently than where they seem to be heading, or if not, then i hope you all get out in one piece,"
Knowing that this was a goodbye, Hosea grasped and kissed the back of your hand. But without hesitation, you pulled him into a tight, yet brief hug. Turning to Arthur, his arms wrapped around you as you rested your head against his hardened chest. A light peck pressed against the top of your head, followed by the vibrations of his voice "You take care of yourself, you hear?"
"Same to you, Arthur," You lifted your head as you looked up, and he casually tucked your hair behind your ear before pressing another kiss upon your forehead.
As the sun finally fell below the horizon, and darkness engulfing the lakeside camp, you snook off to your tent where you began to quickly pack your belongings, and strap them to your shire's saddle as it grazed contently on its hay. It wasn't until footsteps crunched behind you that you realised you were being watched.
"Where do you think you're going?"
You turned slowly, and your eyes set on an angry and confrontation Dutch. His form almost shaking at the sight of you packing, knowing full well that you were leaving him.
"Dutch-"
"You're deserting us? Deserting me?" He said, emphasising 'me' knowing that the word alone stabbed painfully at your heart.
"Dutch, please... i can't do this anymore," You pleaded, "All the killing and disregard to our... our opinions. Y-you used to treat us like family. Now we just seem to be your puppets-"
"You're abandoning me. Just when the plan is coming together,"
"What plan, Dutch? What plan? You never told us of any plans, we just follow orders. People have died... Sean, Kieran..." Your throat began to thicken, making it harder to swallow, "Who next before your 'plan' works?"
"They are a sacrifice needed to be made for us to live our lives-"
"This ain't living Dutch... this isn't even an existence anymore," You shook your head, mounting onto your horse, "I loved you Dutch. I loved you with all my heart. But, I can't do this anymore,"
With a deep sigh, you clicked your horse forward and began to walk your way out of camp. But, the shot rang in you ear and you looked down at the hole that tore through your abdomen. With a gasp, your body fell from the horse to the cold hard ground.
Dutch stood there as the gang members came rushing over to the sound, all gasping and crying at the sight of your slowly dying form on the floor. Arthur crashed down by your side, taking you up into his arms as he pressed his hand down on your oozing abdomen, but it was hopeless.
"[Y/N]? No, no [Y/N], stay with me, okay?" His voice panicked, his eyes wide as he searched yours, but yours was losing its sparkle, the life draining from you with each passing second. You whimpered from the pain, tears pouring from your eyes. How could your love do this to you? How could he? It was enough to make you want to die, and with your last laboured breath, you were gone. Arthur froze, his eyes scanning your lifeless face in disbelief. His calloused hand reached to your cheek as he affectionately stroked it, but feeling no beat, not life, nothing.
All eyes fell to Dutch, the pistol still grasped within his hand, and without word, he turned on his heels and headed back to his tent. It was then that the whole camp lost their faith in Dutch Van Der Linde.
