The Nostalgic Sin

Chapter 3: Removing The Void

Life is just so precious.

I came to know this fact when my father sheltered and pampered me with his unconditional love, I never mean that I was an ungrateful little scum. He was truly my life who had given me the liberty to achieve contentment in life without any distractions or dilemmas to look after but after all, it's a reality that humans' desires never get fulfilled yet the sorrows are hard to carry.

I opened up the car door and climbed in. Yes, I had to climb since the car was about 2 feet higher than the charcoal-coloured pavement I stood on, and way too much heftier. It was a gorgeous-looking, smoky black Toyota, and absolutely not mine to use. But my generous father had permitted me to use it on some occasions...still it felt wrong somehow.

My stepmoms would surely get crossed at me for borrowing their possession, but I could deal with that later. Right now I had to overlook the minor critiques and bring my life to some good use. Their fusses, treacherous stunts and stabbing, heart-wrenching conversations would never stop, at least not until I am alive.

Unintentionally, I relive the moment in my head when my second stepmom had asked me to visit her dressing-room in the evening to select the best ornate gown that fitted her curves and made her look more alluring for the retro party which she had at her place the following day.

Anonymous to her mischievous attitude, I remember climbing the porcelain staircase that led to the respective room. I hurried there as I could hear some raised voices, concerned about what the altercation was about.

I turned the knob of the door without knocking and there she was, staring at me with an unidentified devilish look in her eye, a composed expression covering her face overall. Her blonde hair was in a tidy bun, while she wore her expensive, deep crimson and lilac shade night dress. The action of hers that seemed strange to me was the stolid grimace she gave, which dispersed uneasiness in me the very minute. Her entire face though blank at the moment seemed a bit softened to me, but I remained alert.

After I stepped into the room, shutting the door behind me, I looked around. It was a beautiful closet. About ten colossal wardrobes were lined up on the sides, each for some distinct items, while the vestibule area faced the changing room.

The walls had been painted obsidian-black which gave a more haunted look to the entire room. Although it was very eerie, a light bulb was switched on which enabled us to look around the room. Every piece of furniture present in the room reflected a navy-ish glow to the human eyes. It illuminated the room with its luminescent glow to such an extent that the black walls had no effect on human visions and I could spot everything that was placed superficially.

On taking a hurried glance behind the wardrobes and upon finding no one in the corners I had breathed a sigh of relief. I had to take the step, for my safety.

So it's just me and her. She is here to choose a dress for the celebration. I admitted but I could still feel my throat parched as if I had caught sight of the most frightening creature found on Earth.

What was all this apprehension about?

I was sure she couldn't hurt me. But what happened wasn't in my conscience - The very second, hands groping my worn-out gowns, shirts, pants and ingeries had all been lighted up with fire. They were ablaze in front of my own eyes.

She had burnt all my garments, just because she wanted to portray her image as a person who had extreme dominance over me. And most of the burnt material consisted of clothes that were bought all by me through my pie-making job at the local bakery, I had opted to acquire some good amount of money for myself and to ease the burden off my father's shoulders.

Although my father himself was financially equipped, I had felt the urge to be independent. I had a growing feeling of autonomy inside my brain which led me to this. I had done this as a good deed, however, I got it returned as a devilish one. How unfair life is. How unexpected it is, and what had I done to get paid like this? I still wonder.

Brushing the incessant thoughts that never cease to enter my already-disturbed mind, I sat in the car. It was a black car, with unusually big, shiny tyres and an extremely wide windscreen. The car was very luxurious. It had three rows each with four granite-coloured, nicely polished seats. The car could accommodate about 15 people only if they were my size. And in my opinion, everyone could be impressed by this marvel, I hoped.

I put the car keys in the ignition and started the car. It whirred a bit, but as it was in perfectly good health no fumes erupted and did not hassle me a lot. Before leaving, I glimpsed the head mirror in which I could explicitly see myself unenthusiastically gazing at the reflection.

Today I had a ravishing look on my face. I had tied my sleek brunette hair up in a rough ponytail and had worn a pastel pink-coloured balm that made me look a bit hubristic. It would do some good. My brand-new car and ambience would make a few students get repelled while a few good ones might get captivated too if only my luck is good.

As there wasn't abundant time to spend on clothes I had sluggishly thrown over the comfiest top of my favourite colour-chiffon white. It was a Christmas present from my father, thus, a priceless shirt. It was a simple charmeuse, now quite withered but to me, it still looked elegant. It fitted perfectly with my good old jeans.

The car was all set to leave and I turned the steering wheel sideways to the exit gate. I had taken the driving course at 16 and passed with good grades. I remember dad being extremely proud of it, hugging me, kissing me, singing for me... He had wished me the best of life ahead and together we had an unforgettable ice cream treat as well. It was a precious instance in my life, but all of it ended when he had wedded again.

Unfortunately, life's happiness can end within the blink of an eye.

I looked out through the windshield. Today was a clear sky. The sky was all free from the vapourish gaseous covering. However, it felt a bit warm to me. Warmer than usual, possibly the temperature had risen a lot; it was high enough for me to feel its exacerbation.

The sun was shining with a bearable force which was evident since It did not make me wince once when I touched the steering wheel. Everything felt under control when I observed the weather. The fine sky, glowing sun rays, sweet chirping birds and the steady, mild breeze made me smile inside. Nature was always good and a place to find ataraxy.