Bad bunny

Mila

7 Months later

Do you remember being a child? Safe in your mother's arms never worrying about what scary monsters are out to get you. You dream of a world with rainbows and unicorns, ice cream on hot days and stuffed animals in your arms at night. You get to be a child, you don't know how cruel the world is yet. You still have your imagination, your spirit, your love and your ignorance.

Truly that's all kids are. Ignorant. Naive. Uneducated. As parents it's your job to give that blissful ignorance and shield them from bad. What do you say when it's time to tell your little one about bad men who hurt little girls... who take them. When do you tell your son he's in a world where showing emotions is weak. When depending on his skin type he has to be afraid of cops hurting him when he should be protected.

That's when life gets hard for kids that's when reality sets in and we're scared and aware of what we weren't before. I never had that talk, the very monster I was afraid of was supposed to be the man to love me till his last breath. Father's are daughter's first love, they set the bar for all future men in her life. They show her how she should be treated when it comes time to date.

So what does a daughter with an abusive father learn? That's okay for your husband to beat you that cheating is ok because " men will be men." That the guy wearing leather and smoking deserves you more then the nice guy who loves books does. Unfortunately that's most cases for girls with no fathers or with abusive ones.

For me it was falling for mafia men. Two at that men who could crush my skull if they wanted to who could take my breath without blinking. Men like that you should run away from right ? I did the opposite I ran straight towards them. No I didn't end up dead or cheated on or abused what I got was worst.

I was lied to by two men who said they would never lie. I was betrayed by my soulmates in a way that hurt so much more then if I would've caught them banging a random chick. My theory is this cheating is not the worst thing that can happen to you.

If he cheats he was never yours in the first place he was always trash who didn't deserve you and you dodged a bullet. Being lied to about something life changing that's what hurts. Knowing they lied because they thought I couldn't handle the truth that I wasn't strong enough.

They doubted me something people have done my whole life. They didn't give me a choice in the matter they took my choice something I was used to. They took one look at me and assumed the worst reaction.
Simply putting it they ignored my progress, they didn't see the changed woman they didn't believe in me.

Keys ratting in my door pulled me out of my deep thoughts as Carter walked through the door. I could smell the rum from here and see the dark circles under his eyes. My best friend was slowly killing himself and it was so painful to watch.

"Carter the college called again.. they said you dropped out... why?" He shrugged his shoulders plopping down next to me.

"I am no longer interested in going bankrupt for a major I won't even use" he says before grabbing the remote.

"She wouldn't want this.." I start before he's glaring at me shutting me up.

"Don't speak about her.. don't do that.. you're being a hypocrite. She also wouldn't want to losing yourself in school work and shutting out the men who love you. She wouldn't want you blaming yourself everyday for the lost of your baby girl. She wouldn't want you skipping out on therapy in god knows how many months" he seethes his anger rising.

I look at him stunned my jaw slightly on the floor as the harsh truth slaps me in the face. It's true I haven't spoken to ace or Dante since the funeral I moved back to my old apartment and Carter came with me. I kept training but with a personal trainer and I kept my guard up. I took an extra nurse course because while my best friend was bleeding on the floor I still didn't have the proper knowledge to help her quick enough.

"And she definitely wouldn't want you blaming yourself for her dying" he says in a final tone before getting up and going to his room slamming the door.

A lone tear slips down my face as I quickly wipe at it my mind going back to that day.

"NO " I screamed

I rushed over to Hailey's body on the ground quickly putting pressure on the bullet wound in her chest. She splutter blood as I pressed down feeling her warm blood coat my fingers. I sobbed softly urging her to hold on as tears fell from her eyes.

"Tell Carter.. I love him... I will always love him... and I'm so stupid for not showing him sooner" she says tightly her face becoming pale.

"No.. no you tell him yourself... you are supposed to get married.. and have babies and live happily ever after remember? We need you please just hold on" I sob. Gun shots ring out all around us as I duck shielding her body with mine. I scream for help but the guys are to busy fighting off whoever is attacking.

Hailey coughing catches my attention I feel her heart slowing under my finger tips. "It's okay... I'm not afraid lala tell my brother I love him..he's my twin my other half and I love him so much. Remind Carter... th... that it's okay to m-move on. I want h..hi..him to I want him... happy" she says weakly the light slowly leaving her eyes.

Shaking her frantically my heart pounds in my chest pulling her up and against my body. Trying cpr and everything to get her heart beating but it doesn't work. I sob loudly rocking her limp body back and forth in my arms. Somebody kneels down against us using his fingers to close her eyes as a tear slips down his blood stained face.

" I'm so sorry little dove" Dante says brokenly as my heart shatters all over again.

Snapping out of my horrible memory and back into the present I sigh softly. Grabbing my bag I stuff my text books in it before grabbing my keys. Deciding to leave Carter a note telling him I be back I quickly look up at the ceiling.

"Please help him see the light in this darkness hails... we miss you so much" I sniffle before walking out our apartment heading to the one place I know I'll feel a little happiness.