Follow Ash and his explosive experiments as he goes through adventures with his friends on Red Team and those Dirty Blues.
Season 1-10
(I don't own anything other than Ash.)
The reds are gathered at the Warthog listening to the distress signal.
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"Distress, distress, help, we don't need any more distress, distress, whoah man, it's a lot of distress." The Distress signal says.
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"That's all it says, it doesn't even say where or who." Simmons tells Sarge.
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"We know who it is." Sarge says. "It's on the Red Army open channel! That means the Reds have survived in the future. Doncha see what this means?"
Grif speaks up. "Huhhhhhh, that we have absolutely no hope of ever getting out of this army."
"Yesssssss." Ash is excited.
Sarge replies to Grif. "No, it means we must have beaten the Blues! Otherwise there wouldn't be any Reds left. Finally, victory is ours!"
"Yesssssss, again." Ash is excited, again.
Sarge then realizes something. "wait a minute, this means I missed the entire war, aw dammit!"
"Fuuuuuuuuuccckkkk!" Ash yells."
"Yeah, everything must be great." Grif says. "That's why they sent out a distress signal."
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Donut speaks up. "Maybe it's not a distress signal. Maybe it's a 'dis'tress signal. Maybe it's an open invitation to some formal ball!"
"Oh-kay, let's go with Sarge's version." Grif says.
Sarge looks at Simmons. "Simmons, have you tracked the source?"
Well Sir, all I can tell is the direction, I have no idea how far it is." Simmons explains.
"Why not?" Sarge asks. "I thought you were our Unofficial Science Officer."
"That just means I'm smart." Simmons explains. "If you want me to multiply two big numbers in my head, that I can do. But I can't measure radio signals with no equipment."
"What's thirty-two times, fifty-six?" Grif asks.
"Thirty-one thousand, four hundred fifty-two." Simmons says.
"Wait?" Ash mumbles to himself.
"Is that right?" Sarge asks.
"Yes." Simmons responds.
"That's pretty impressive."
"Eh, you know, it's a gift."
Ash is mumbling to himself then he stops. "It's One thousand. seven hundred ninety-two." Ash whispers to himself
