A Collection of Chaos
Chip: A fully covered nun with impeccable trigger and muzzle discipline is a thousand times hotter than a naked model without 'em.
Everyone else at the men's dating seminar: ...
Cyrus: This may just be the best and worst advice I've ever heard.
Ben: So, Mike, what do you think your future wife is doing right now?
Mike: ZOE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW?
Warren's T-shirt: If lost, return to Joshua!
Ashley's T-shirt: If lost, return to Joshua!
Murray's T-shirt: If lost, return to Joshua!
Nefarious's T-shirt: If lost, return to Joshua!
Joshua's T-shirt: Keep them.
[when they first met]
Catherine: I am making the decision to trust you!
Alexander: *internally* A horrible decision, really.
Chip: You know, if you really think about it, Alexander is a lucky devil. I mean, sure, Catherine is British and uses the metric system, but she's still got muzzle discipline, has great trigger discipline, supports firearm ownership, believes in our Lord and Savior, has a pretty smile, and cooks pretty dern good!
Mike: (whispering) Plus, she got dat ass.
Chip: *without thinking* Yes, Catherine does have that ass... I said that out loud, didn't I?
Catherine: (blushing, hands over her mouth in shock)
Alexander: (collapsed from laughter)
Erica: (runs away screaming)
Cyrus: (stands and leaves, done with life)
Chip: (walks outside and looks up to the sky)
Chip: *dying of humiliation* TAKE ME, LORD!
[as they're being carted off to prison]
Joshua: Congratulations. You three just won gold, silver, and bronze in the Morons' Olympics.
Ashley: ...
Nefarious: ...
Murray: ... who won the gold?
Joshua: SHUT UP!
Anyone: *does literally anything slightly less than satisfactory*
Hank, in the heaviest Southern accent possible: BOY—
Ashley: *while being taken to prison* This isn't the last you've seen of Ashley Sparks! I can do this sentence standing on my head... thanks to my gymnastics training!
Mr. O'Shea: So, Molly, I gotta ask... what's it like having an artillery battery for a family?
Mrs. Schacter: What do you mean, Seamus?
Mr. O'Shea: Well, y'know how biceps are colloquially called "guns?"
Mrs. Schacter: ... yes?
Mr. O'Shea: Well, if I have guns, then your husband and sons have some damn howitzers!
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Mind the Gap: a Spy School Collection
RandomStuart Gibbs has created a universe in which he presents a hypothetical scenario in which the Central Intelligence Agency would be like if middle and high schoolers were involved as officers-in-training. However, in the process, he left many questio...
