Way Forward (GirlxGirl) [E-book available on MEB]

Charlie with the C

It has been six months since Charlie turned down the job offer in New York. It has been three months since the on-and-off between Charlie and Nicole became only off. It has been a month since Nicole moved on while she can't drain the feeling she has for Nicole. The 'I love you' that has never been said or told still overflows within her. She doesn't know what to do and now she drowns in it. It was quite a year. It was one thing after another. Her soul is tainted by the pain and exhaustion and she wants nothing more than to cleanse it. 

So that is exactly what she does. A can of iced-cold soda in her hand takes the role of a cleanser and a bleacher under the shade of the fresh green trees acts as a resting place to cure her exhaustion. It is Saturday and it is Summer so this is one of the best ways she knows how to spend it; just let her mind fly through the sunny day. Blake is playing his little league game. He is practicing his swing in the on-deck circle; looking sharp and bigger than he was when the last season ended with granny in the audience. Their mom, Patricia, is sitting a few rolls in front of her; talking to other moms about everything that is not related to the game. Her step-dad, Billy, is leaning over the fence by the first-base coaching box with his eyes and his smile on his son. He looks like a typical little league dad but what separates him from the others is how he doesn't really care if Blake hits well or defenses well. All he cares about is Blake's happiness. It is a little over two months into the season and Blake has already gotten so much better. Although Blake makes baseball his priority for the summer, his birthday that is coming up seems to be catching up to knock the first place down its throne.

Charlie sips her soda and pauses a bit to feel the dark liquid travelling down her throat and spread the energy throughout her system. She adjusts the ball cap that is trying its very best to protect her long pixie cut she has had last week from showing itself to the summer weather. The warm breeze sends the leaves flying and blows a figure to land next to her. Before her eyes get to make their way to cure the curiosity, the scent has already touched her nose and her heart automatically goes wild.

"Hey." Nicole; with her long brunette hair tied up in a ponytail, greets with an awkward smile. She leaves just a tiny bit of space from Charlie; just enough space for a hand to rest, but somehow, it feels greater than that. It feels like Charlie has moved herself emotionally across the country and her presence is beyond absent.

"Hi." Charlie shoots an empty smile that cuts deeper than the one with the cruel meaning. She starts crossing her legs and hunching over as if she is trying to prepare herself from another wave of pain that comes in a form of an angel. It still hurts and she still doesn't know how to cope. She has trouble moving on like she always does and Nicole has been doing her very best to help her get through it. However, the ugly truth is Charlie doesn't need that kind of help. She still wakes up with the pain in her chest knowing that the love was there but it couldn't save them. They broke up with their hearts filled with love for one another.

"I've been calling you." Nicole starts hesitantly as she watches Charlie nodding along what she has said. She doesn't even look at her as she listens. It hurts her that they have become something far worse than strangers. It hurts her that everything they had seems to go to waste. But to go on in a relationship where there were constantly doubts is not exactly what she wants.

"Yeah." Charlie responds quietly with her eyes away from the one whom she should engage in the conversation with. She doesn't have that kind of nerve within her. She cannot look at Nicole without regretting of losing her; without regretting that she hadn't done enough to keep her. "I've been busy with... Hmm... the job and everything. Kind of forgot to call back. Sorry."

"Oh, right. The one in New Haven. That's great, Charlie." Nicole reaches over and closes the distance by a touch she lands on Charlie's arm. Immediately, Charlie sits up straight and pulls her arm away to join another on her chest. She clearly looks uncomfortable by Nicole's presence and she doesn't even try to hide it. Charlie still makes her expression a grand announcement and that scares her more than anything. Nicole sighs quietly and pulls her hand back next to her. "I meant to talk to you about Shawn."