The Struggle Of Our Lives

Chapter 19, continued.

She didn't deserve any of this.

"I'm sure, Terry.." She thought for a second, "I think I'm ready to take the test."

I nodded in agreement, and assured her we'd wait outside the outhouse for her. She thanked me and gave Teddy a hug for good luck, I guessed.

My mind raced yet again with ideas of how I'd make the extra money to take care of a baby, coming to the conclusion that I'd need another job. Hopefully, one that pays more per hour. First things first, however. I need to get that fake I.D. to get a better job.

She got up off the couch and sat her plate down on a small table we had all built together. Theodore and I followed her outside and stood outside the door to the outhouse. She stepped inside, and shut the door behind her, while the two of us stood in horrified silence. I stepped closer to him and grabbed his right hand with my left, wanting him to feel my presence.

He squeezed my hand in response, and seemed to tense slightly, both of us expecting the worst. All of a sudden, I noticed he was shaking slightly. I turned to him and saw he was faintly crying. I squeezed his hand, and took a deep breath to try and comfort him, and myself.

"Everything's going to be okay, I promise." I whispered to him. "What if she turns out to be pregnant?" He asked. "We'll get through this together, no matter the results." I tried to assure him, but my words fell on deaf ears.

Soon we heard quiet sobbing from inside the small stall. "Are you okay, Char?" Theodore asked. There was no response, instead the crying became more audible, and she had begun hiccupping and coughing out her tears. "Can you open the door for us?" I asked. Once again, there was no response. but instead there was the small click of the door being unlocked. I pulled the wooden door open and peered inside. Lotte was still sitting on the toilet, shorts hung around her ankles, with tears soaking the hem of her tank top.

"Can I see it?" I asked. She handed the test to me after placing the blue guard on the end, and I held it low for Teddy to look at it with me.

Positive.

I looked up at Charlotte, and she was shaking. With her head in her hands, she quietly squeaked out a question.

"Are you mad?" She asked through her sobs. "No baby, this is not your fault." I stepped forward and entered the small space to hug her. She almost screamed into my collar, and held onto me as tight as she could. After a while, I choked out, "Come on, lets get you cleaned up."

She nodded, and I left, closing the door behind me. She locked it once again, and began shuffling around, putting herself back together. I turned to Tedd and he looked like his whole world was falling apart. I stepped up to him and hugged him as tight as I could. "Everything's gonna work out fine." I continued to assure him.

It was my belief that as her twin, he felt everything she did. They've always had a connection to each other John and I could never hope to have with them, or each other. If I didn't know any better, I would've assumed they could read each others minds. This was the first time since that day Lotte broke down at the bus stop that he could understand her again.

He shrugged me off the moment Charlotte came out of the outhouse. The two of us ran to her and held her between us, both of us giving her words of support. Eventually, we let go of each other, and walked back to our house. We entered, and I locked the door behind us. I turned around to see the twins crawling up the ladder to the bed.

I turned off the TV and sat on the couch, trying to assure myself that what I had been telling the kids wasn't a lie; that everything was going to be alright. I felt like I had been lying to myself and them, only making me feel even worse.

I sat with my head in my hands, considering my options. I needed to talk to Charlotte about this but she had already gone through enough for one day.

I divided my options into four possible outcomes for the baby. The first option is Charlotte raising the baby as her own, and not bothering to lie to them about their birth. The second option was for me to raise the baby as our sibling, as it would be easier to explain to them and other people. The third being that we just give the baby up for adoption.

The third was the easiest choice, but of course there was the fourth choice. The final option, and the choice I was most likely to pick, was to raise the baby as my child, as I was old enough for people to shrug it off as me looking young for a mother, or simply brushing me off as a teen mom.

I sat in silence for hours on end, thinking over my options. In the end, I knew it was up to Charlotte to choose what we do with the kid. After all, this was her baby. I sighed once again to myself, wishing none of this happened to her in the first place. This wasn't fair.

No 10 year old girl should have to go through the nightmare of rape, just to learn that they're pregnant. Now of course I knew there was a chance that the test gave a false positive, but with all of the other symptoms Lotte had, it was highly unlikely that this was all just a coincidence.

Tomorrow will be better.. right? I pushed my thought away and took out my laptop. I knew then it was time to look for another job.