Ateez Imagines

Choi Jongho ✧ Sunrise Confessions

Soft yellow rays flooded into the bedroom they shared. It was warm. Not the kind where the temperature was too high or the room was stuffy, no. The kind of warm that was comfortable, peaceful. The kind of morning Jongho wanted to stay undisturbed in all day, a sort of dream without sleeping.

He somehow still managed to wake up early in the morning, despite the events of the night before. He shifted his gaze from the dust particles floating by the window to you. Your bare back was towards him, but your legs were tangled with his. He watched as your shoulders slowly rose and fell in your slumber.

If you asked him, he would have no idea how he managed to be with someone as beautiful as you. He wasn't necessarily someone that spoke about how he felt in love letters like Mingi nor was he the most physically clingy and affectionate like Wooyoung or San.

But he loved you. God, he adored you. He would do anything for you if you'd let him. You had him mesmerized from the moment he met you and to think he'd be where he is now with you was something he'd only be dreaming of. No one knew him quite like you did, and he'd like to think it was the same way for you. He tried to remember the smallest details about you, from the way you'd bite the inside of your lip when you were concentrating or stressed to the way you'd dance around the room all by yourself at 2 AM, pulling him in to dance with you when he'd come home late.

Often he'd think that you were too good for him, that he didn't deserve you. But it would all wash away when he'd see the look of love in your eyes that was reserved specifically for him.

He still had his worries though. Worries that he wasn't showing you the love you deserved. To him, you were the living proof of beauty, evident from how you shined both inside and out. But it was difficult for him to put into words sometimes.

When it came to the dynamics of the relationship, it was you who would initiate small romantic gestures, so common within a relationship that it should seem so simple and easy for him. You were not only his first serious relationship but you were also someone he couldn't help but fall more and more in love with every day, so it took him a while to feel comfortable and adjust to how to treat you.

Never did you pressure him past his comfort level, though, allowing him to take his time and illustrate his way of love in the ways that he knew how. He found ways of showing love that may not be as obvious to the eye but didn't go unnoticed by you. The way he'd look at you with adoration when you'd laugh. The way he'd hold you when you were crying like you were his last breath of fresh air. The way he'd kiss you softly but passionately, pouring all of his feelings into each movement like it'd be his last.

And while he knew you knew his love for him, he wish he could say the words. He wishes he could even begin to describe how he felt for you. He wanted you to feel the same way he did when you'd run up and tightly hug him from behind and whisper those three words.

I love you.

It's funny, he thinks, that as a singer, he still has a hard time finding the right words with you. And while he did get better with his actions to convey how he felt, he never was able to say those words to you first. Perhaps no relationship milestone is quite as imbued with meaning as the first utterance of 'I love you,' and yet he'd always have trouble telling those words to you unless you'd say it first.

He dreams of the day he could say it to you first. Where he can look into your eyes and say the three words he can't stop thinking about when he thinks about you. He wants your heart to soar as his does, for you to give him the smile he's captivated by, for you to know just how much you mean to him. He wants to be able to tell you he loves you, that you're the first person he wants to see in the morning and the last person he wants to see before he falls asleep. He doesn't just love you because you love him, no. Despite how long he's been in this relationship with you, he still gets surprised that he's managed to find you, to keep you, to be the only one in the world that can say you're his.

Maybe that's why he was so gentle with you the night before. Why every touch, every kiss, every look into your eyes was delicate, yet intentional. Why he needed you to know during your first time together that you were all that mattered to him at that moment. Why he took his time, holding you and making sure every move he made was something you wanted. Why he wanted to love you like you were going to disappear the next morning.

But you hadn't disappeared; you were still there, lying beside him. Wary of waking you up, he mindlessly begins to draw on your back with his fingertips, random patterns at first. Being completely absorbed by his own thoughts, however, those patterns became more clear, more intentional.

He began by drawing small hearts, first between your shoulder blades. He paused as you shifted slightly, holding his breath for a few seconds. Once he realized there were no signs of you waking up, he decides to continue on his masterpiece once again, lightly drawing hearts down your spine.

There's the pounding heart before a first kiss. The internal wall breaks down when sharing confidences and intimate revelations. There's the nervousness about meeting a loved one's family. And yet still, he couldn't help but think that the "I love you" was the most important.

Finally, he took a deep breath before writing those three words - each letter being imbued with a different memory of you - first on your arm and then on the small of your back. He smiled softly, proud of his masterpiece. Even if he couldn't find the words to say to you out loud, he'd hope that you'd still get the message in your dreams.

He wrapped his arm around you and nuzzled into your hair, content with the work he had done. Just as he started to doze off from your warmth and comfort, he heard a small mumble coming from you.

"Hm?"

You roll over to face him as your eyes flutter open. You look at him for a moment, before softly smiling and leaning your head into his chest.

"I love you too."

He freezes up after hearing the words you spoke in a whisper. You'd been awake and caught him in his confession. He didn't mind, but he'd be lying if he said it didn't catch him off guard. He plants a kiss on your hair before putting his hand under your chin and having you look towards him.

"I..." he pauses trying to think of the right words to say but comes up blank. He curses at himself, annoyed that the confidence he had just a few moments before had disappeared once again as he looked at you.

"I know," you whisper, before pressing your lips against his. His lips are softer than the first snowfall, as he smiles into the kiss. You feel him sweep back a few loose strands of hair before resting his hand onto the side of your face, rubbing his thumb gently on your skin as you both melt into one another.

He pulls away, moving his hand from your cheek to right below your chin once again, as he softly rubs his thumb on your lip, holding his gaze into your eyes.

"Thank you for loving me."