Of Witches And Wolves | M. Helvar ✐

17 | To Protect Him

There was an uncertainty in the air, Rowan felt sick to their stomach. All they could think about was how to free Matthias and get him home in one piece. Even the inside of the Little Palace's cellar was beautiful. The candlelight and lack of windows reminded them of the orphanage.

It boggled Rowan's mind how they came so far in their life. Although it was pure luck that the headmistress of the orphanage saw Rowan's abilities manifesting at such a young age. If not for that woman, Rowan couldn't imagine where else they might be. They never would have thought they'd be locked in a cellar underneath the Little Palace.

If their parents could see them now... Rowan feared they would be disowned.

"You're lucky to not be in the cells for the real criminals."

Rowan's head lifted as they met eyes with Hellana, "I thought you were in Kerch on call?"

Their sister shrugged, "Duty called me back to Ravka. Although... not the duty I expected. What happened, Rowan?" Hellana's eyes were icy and Rowan couldn't help but compare Hellana to her mother country; Fjerda. Never in their life did Rowan think their sister looked Fjerdan–her color palette was all wrong–but now she did. She looked and felt cold.

Red-hot embarrassment flooded their cheeks–what explanation could Rowan truly give? "I can't explain it, sister. You wouldn't understand."

Hellana stepped closer to the bars, "Make me understand. Because I have to explain this to our parents and if I don't have the full story, then Kirigan will be putting you to trial for treason. Do you have any idea what that means for our family?"

They hadn't thought about that... Rowan assumed they'd be quietly sentenced to death. But now that Hellana had brought it up, it would align with Kirgian's political plans to try to soil the Yulianov family name.

"I hadn't considered that..."

"I know you hadn't, because I also know that you wouldn't have taken the assignment to fucking begin with!" Hellana's Squaller ability often manifested in her outbursts, Rowan flinched as the force of their sister's breath pushed them into the wall. "You know well enough how to act, Rowan. You're not stupid. So why did I have to find out that you betrayed your country and your family from Nina fucking Zenik?"

That confused Rowan, what did Nina tell Hellana to cause such outrage?

"I didn't betray anyone but Matthias."

Hellana's eyes turned colder, "You're lucky that dog didn't try to kill you on the spot!"

Rowan was beginning to tire of the yelling, "Trassel loved me!" Their sister's face shifted to that of confusion, "His wolf... his isenulf... liked me. From the very beginning. Even before Matthias knew I was Grisha."

"Help me understand so I can help you survive this." There was a desperation in her voice that startled Rowan. "Please, sister, I can't bear to see you lose to your pride."

"My pride isn't the problem, Ana–I gave Matthias Helvar my word to protect him."

She nodded, "So it's your honor then, is it?" Rowan dipped their head, "I would be more understanding if the boy was from anywhere but Fjerda. A Drüskelle no less."

"How can you say that about your mother country?" The force of Hellana's hush once again pushed Rowan against the wall. "I won't speak if you keep doing that." Rowan felt shame every time their sister would showcase her abilities with ease. It was embarrassing not being able to work with your natural abilities.

"I am not Fjerdan. I never was and never would have been, they kill anyone suspected to be Grisha. I am lucky to be alive... and I owe my life to our parents for rescuing me from that hellscape. Not everyone can come from a loving country like you."

They couldn't help but find it ironic that Hellana described Fjerda as a "hellscape" given her name. Then Rowan thought about what she whispered... a loving country? One that would persecute a person for expressing themself outside of its rigid norms? While there was plenty of food to go around, self-expression was kept to a minimum.

It was a rarity to see someone living life truly to its fullest. There was hardly any chance for social mobility, where you were born was more than likely where you would die. Rowan was an outlier–a once-in-a-million opportunity given once a generation.

Their parents were a rare species, not many people were pure of heart anymore. It was so unusual to find a couple with so few children of their own blood. Though it wasn't often that anyone would realize the Yulianov family members weren't all blood-related. With the similar color palettes in all of the children (save for Hellana), it wasn't easily picked up on.

"Yolivia is much worse than you've been led to believe, Ana. There are many similarities between our home countries..." Rowan thought back to their time in Fjerda and visibly shivered. "Fjerda is just very very cold–in many ways."

Hellana smiled tightly, "Yes it is. Now explain what the fuck happened to take you there. I want every detail." She spoke slowly, not breaking eye contact with Rowan. "If you skip out on anything, I will know."

"Okay."