Love's Playbook

chapter seven: flaws and all

still heartbroken over here by the show so figured, i'd write my emotions out. 😂 I hope you guys enjoy, thank you for reading 💛

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I'm a puzzle, yes, indeed/ever-complex in every way/and all the pieces aren't even in the box and yet you see the picture clear as day/I don't know why you love me/and that's why I love you/you catch me when I fall/accept me, flaws and all

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There was no way he was here. This was a hallucination. It had to have been. That was the only thing that made sense. She hadn't seen him in months yet the memories of those awful moments came flashing through her brain immediately. That was the funny thing about dark moments. Sometimes even after you've thought you've healed, they plague your brain and can feel just as present as the current moment. It was like no time had passed and yet the man in front of her was a complete stranger. 

"What are you doing here, Asher?" Olivia's body was stiff and filled with nerves. Seeing him and being around him would probably never be easy. Although she wasn't necessarily scared of him or what he could do to her anymore, communicating him was the last thing she'd want to be doing right now. She'd worked hard on reminding herself that she wasn't a victim but a survivor. Forgiveness was for herself and her peace of mind, not for him. Despite that, him being here, in her space and wanting to talk was strange. Uncomfortable really. 

"I wanted to talk to you. I know I should've probably called ahead of time but I figured you probably wouldn't answer or want to see me," his eyes seemed sincere but she'd gone down that road before and had no plans on going down again, "can't say that I'd have blamed you, if you didn't."

"You'd be right. I wouldn't have. What do you need, Asher?" Olivia tried to put some of the conviction she felt into strengthening her voice. He wasn't going to get the best of her. Not anymore.

"I-I wanted to see you in person when I said this..God, this is hard. I just wanted to say again that I'm sorry, Olivia. I really am. I know that what I did to you when we were together was awful and I'll spend the rest of my life feeling guilty for it." 

"Um...I'm not really sure what you want me to say to that, Asher. It's been months and I don't know why you all of a sudden feel the need to hash things out. Talking things out never got us anywhere."

"That's the thing...A lot has changed the past few months." Asher said, his eyes looking down at his feet as he fidgeted. He seemed nervous which was a far cry from the person she'd left all those months ago.

"Like what? You magically reversed time and un-cheated? Or un-did the other things?"

"Liv, I'm really trying here." Asher said. There was that impatience she'd remembered.

"Little late for that, don't you think?" Olivia raised an eyebrow. 

"I just...I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you in all of this. I know now how important it is to be respectful of the women in my life and not take them for granted. I also wanted you to here from me...Jaymee and I are engaged. We're also having a baby in a couple weeks. A little girl." his voice carried obvious nerves as the words came out of his mouth. 

"That's great. Congratulations." Olivia's voice was void of any sort of emotion. It wasn't until the words, "a couple weeks" finally registered in her brain that it hit her. "Wait. Did you just say a couple of weeks?" her eyebrows scrunched.

"Uh. Yeah. She's due in a few weeks. She's 36 weeks now." Asher cringed. 

"We've only been broken up for 6 months, Asher. You're telling me she was pregnant when we were together and you knew? You were actively trying to get me pregnant knowing that the woman you were cheating on me with was pregnant?" Olivia's voice was tense.

"I'm sorry, Olivia. I really am. If I could change things and all the shitty things I did, I would." Asher tried to step towards her, but Olivia quickly yanked her arm back before he could make contact.