The Real Reason Zayn Left One Direction

A/N: This is purposely written poorly. It's made to be a joke, so don't take it seriously. Also, This is NOT my actual grammar. Just a warning. Enjoy!

"Zen plz come 2 the dark side" I could here his greasy burrito voice through da phone. "I dun want to." I said flatly. "Imma kill all ur friendz if u don't" their was a long silence. I herd Leeyum fart from the bathroom. "Fine. I hate u ya fat greasy burrito". I gave in. "Imma come to ur house right naow". "Nuuuuuuu-" he hung up. What a turd. I frantically looked 4 da boys to tell em da news before burrito boy came. "Niel, Lewis, Hairy, Leeyum" I called. They came runnin. "Imma work with Naughty boi from now on" I sayed. "Not da greasy burrito!" Niel cried. "Fraid' so" I told Niel. Lewis gave me a rotten carrot so I could remember him. I put it in mah fanny pack and approached Hairy. "Zen I thot you luvved me. Y u no luhv me?" He ased. "Bcuz I'm in luv with (A/N: the coco!) Leeyum". I sayed to him. Hairy started crieing and ran to da bathroom. Next I went up 2 Leeyum. "I dun't luv u no moar" he sayd and slaped me. "Fine bich I'm in luhv with Lewis frum now on" I sayed. Rite then, the greasy burrito walked in. "I'm cumming to get u Zen" he farted. "Nuuuu please" the burrito grabbed me and draged me outside. Once we wur outside, he grabed a razer. "NAWT MY BOOTIFUL HARE" I cryed, as he shaved it off. "Naow bow to ur leader" the greasy pig snorted. "NEVERRR" I told him, and somehow escaped his greasy fingurs. "I'm FREE" I holered, and ran back 2 my 4 lovers. Hairy was stil in da bathroom farting his ass off, so I tuld the boys the newz. "WUT A FAT JOKE" we all sayd in unison.

The End

This is literally the stupidest thing. I have ever written. Oh well. Enjoy!