Save Me [SVU fanfic]

5 - Tears of Silence

5 - Tears of Silence

All I can think is how much it hurts to think. Pain throbs in my side, in my temple, on my arms, my face, everywhere. It's coming to a point where it's plainly exhausting to merely stay awake, alert, focused on whatever the hell he's blabbing about.

"Hey, hey, did I say you could close your eyes?" He prompts almost sincerely. I moan trying desperately to reopen my lids without passing out.

Finally, I do, but not quick enough for his satisfaction. He backhands my jaw, sending a shock of pain and heat to the skin. The burning sensation absorbs into my bone. Blood crawls out from the cut my teeth made on my lower lip when I involuntarily chomped down on it after being smacked. Too drained to turn my head back to face him, I leave it to rest uncomfortably on my collarbone. I whimper.

I've learned I have to act like a lady, but he could care less how he treats one.

"Well? Answer me damn it!" He screams louder, the noise rings in my ears.

I manage a weak, "I'm sorry." My voice is broken, very much so, but my spirit. Not yet...

"Good girl." He threads his hands sympathetically through my mangled hair that's dipping below the curve of my spine now. Caressing my scalp, he carefully digs his fingernails into the skin. It'd feel good if I wasn't in so much pain to actually enjoy the massage.

My mind drifts away into the tranquil silence surrounding me. How long have I been here? Awhile apparently, but I can't remember anymore. It was so much easier to keep track the first weeks, but now I've lost count of the days. To think it's been so long that I've had time expecting perpetual torture is depressing.

I want to hang onto this hope that my team will find me, but they would have found me by now. They can't stay on my case forever, we both know that there is always another crime needing full attention. It'd be selfish for me to want their time when it could be utilized to save someone salvageable. Fifty new cases arise within just a couple of weeks. Manhattan's a huge city, it's mine... theirs to keep safe. The case-load never ends.

"Hey, Livvy I think you might want to stay awake for this." His fingers stop mid-way.

Wearily, I strain my eyes to open more, to focus on the blurry objects ahead.

The television's volume turns up, still I am hard of hearing the words. Flipping through the channels, he clicks the remote's button on ABC. The woman in a pencil skirt updates the viewers on the weekly weather. Then she redirects to another newscaster.

He speaks of a recent robbery, and other crimes, that normally would spike a small interest in me. But now, I'm too out of it to care. Suddenly, the volume is raised, enough for my deaf-like ears to comprehend clearly.

"There are still no leads on kidnapped cop, Detective Olivia Benson. It's been a few months since her abduction. It all occurred late at night en route to her home when her abductor shot and kidnapped her. Detectives at the Manhattan Special Victims Unit of New York City ask that you call SVU's tip line for any information leading to Detective Benson's whereabouts. The number is listed below on the screen."

He laughs, deep and throaty. "See that, your so-called team isn't even close to finding you. I told you so," he boasts.

I advert my head away from the next headline story and close my eyes, holding back tears. I'm oddly afraid that I'll lose myself if I should let them fall. My cuffed hands ball into fists. My medium length fingernails dig painfully so into my palms. But I don't care. Now I'm certain. I really don't care about anything any longer.

I guess I had illusions that I'd be saved. That I would return home, and go on to lead a fulfilling life. I guess I can't lie that a twinge of me had that little spark of hope that I'd be guaranteed a "safe" exit out of this hell. But with three months that has already passed, it's extinguished.