𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 || 𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐚 𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐨 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

CHAPTER 10 - play it forward

a/n - please remember to vote ! this chapter was literally gonna be more than 2k words but i'm splitting it :)

i start scooping a hole in the sand with a toy shovel, sadie doing the same thing. "things with you and olivia last night got kinda..." sadie says, digging the shovel in the sand and scooping it out. "yeah, that was... something else." i respond, starting to make a moat. "you guys good?" "yeah, we're good." "this fucking moat, sadie." i mutter as the shovel won't go through the sand. i dig at it, unable to get a scoop. "the fuck is this?!" i yell, dropping the shovel. "y/n! what's going on?" sadie says, standing up and quickly walking to me. i take quick breaths, holding my chest. "my heart's beating really fast... i can't-" i cut myself off, closing my eyes and clenching my fist. "it's getting hard to breathe, sadie." i manage to whisper. i walk closer to sadie, and she puts a hand on my chest, guiding me to sit on the sand. "hey, it's normal. you're having a panic attack, it's okay. just look at me." i look at sadie, who keeps eye contact with me. "just deep breaths, in." i inhale slowly. "out," i exhale. she guides me through this a few times, before i start to breath somewhat normally again. "y/n, what's going on?" she asks, putting a hand on my back. i stare at her for a few seconds, sadie waiting patiently. "it's my mom..."

"there's a breathing technique for anxiety attacks. four seconds inhale through your nose, seven to hold, eight to exhale." sadie tells me as i lean into her. "how do you know all this stuff?" i ask. "back in high school. i had my first full-blown panic attack. i went to the ER thinking i was having a heart attack. learned coping methods after that." she tells me. "wow," i mumble, looking out at the waves. "maybe you should tell your mom you know." "yeah, i know. i want to, i swear. but every time i try, i don't know how. i mean, she doesn't want me and my brother to know. finding out would crush her. it would ruin everything..." i say, taking a pause, "i feel like maybe if i... i just keep in inside, you know... maybe that's what keeps her alive." i shrug. "you're afraid to step on a crack. you're afraid you'll be the one to make it real. this isn't something you can control. this is happening whether you say it out loud or not. y/n, it's not on you, okay?" sadie says, rubbing my back. "it's not on me..." i admit, taking a deep breath. 

i walk to the kitchen, seeing olivia there. "hey livie." i say, leaning against the opposite side of the kitchen counter. "hey," she responds, scooping some kind of powder into her water bottle. "what's that?" i ask. "my secret weapon." she looks up with a smile, and i hum in response. "feeling good about the tournament?" i ask, referring to the beach volleyball tournament her and gracie were competing in today. "yeah, i'm ready." liv says. "if you stay ready, you won't have to get- ready." i say, shaking my head. i look up, trying to figure out what the fuck i just said. olivia chuckles, humming. "that was... cheesy." she says, smiling. "yeah... you try coming up with a motivational phrase with no cheese." olivia clicks her tongue, now thinking. "hmm. i'm thinking." i chuckle, making olivia chuckle too. the doorbell rings, and olivia starts to jog to the kitchen. on the back of her white and fluorescent green jersey, 'team liv' was printed on the back in bold.

i walk around the counter, not really sure what i was here in the first place for. i turn around, hearing footsteps. "hey gracie abrams." i say. "hey y/n fisher." gracie responds, and olivia and her run upstairs.

i start to wind up one of the multiple sand umbrellas, subtly watching 2 other girls play. one sets, and the other spikes it into the sand. i exhale, hearing them say "good job!" to each other. really hope you're ready, olivia.

i watch mom as she holds the microphone, starting to talk to everyone. "good afternoon, i'm susannah fisher... chair of the clubs community service board, and i am delighted to welcome you to 'play it forward'!" everyone claps and cheers, and i join in. "you know, as my mother used to say, if you're lucky enough to be at the beach, then you're lucky enough. and we're very fortunate indeed, why is why, in the spirit of fun and friendly competition, it's time to open our hearts and wallets and give back to those who may not be as fortunate." scattered 'yeah's ' go around. i walk next to olivia, giving her a smile and she speaks again. "we have teams raising awareness for homelessness, women's shelters, environmental causes and many more. and play it forward will match pledges for the winner of the tournament!" we all cheer and clap, "pledge tables are still open, so please donate generously. and with that, i say let the games begin!" 

olivia leans slightly into me, subtly pointing to the trophy. "that trophy is going to be mine." she says, confidently. "watch out for those two." i say, pointing to the 2 girls i saw training earlier on. "her spike is lethal." i say, rubbing one of olivia's shoulders before walking away. 

"hi!" gracie says, coming up next to me. "what's up, gracie? you nervous?" i ask, smiling. "uh... it's getting there." "don't worry about it. just play your best, you got this." i say. gracie smiles, saying thanks before skipping away.

leaning against the wooden fence, i watch gracie and olivia do a handshake before the match starts. "lets go livie!" i yell, smiling.  the whistle blows and the man serves it, gracie receiving it upwards. "you got it, you got it!" i yell. olivia spikes the ball down, the man diving for it, but he misses and the ball hits the sand. i cheer along with everyone else. after a few rounds, i decide to get a drink, walking away.

i walk up to gracie, now seeing her on the side where i was standing. "why're you here?" i ask, seeing jeremiah now on the court. "fell, must've twisted my ankle." "that really sucks," i say, watching the match. "would've chose you to sub on, but you weren't here." "yeah, i was getting a drink." i say. we cheer as olivia and jeremiah win the game, hugging each other.

i watch intensely as jeremiah and olivia were now versing the 2 girls. jeremiah overhand serves it, the blonde girl receiving it. the brunette sets it up, the blonde running towards it. she jumps spiking it down. jeremiah dives forward, missing the ball in front of him. they rally again, and jeremiah jumps, trying to spike the ball mid air. he misses, hitting the net and falling. "oh my god!" i yell as jeremiah gets distracted, looking at olivia and the brunette serves it over the net, lading right on the side of jeremiah. the score was now 18-7, olivia and jeremiah losing. 

olivia shakes her head, putting her hands like a 'T'. the ref blows the whistle, calling a time. olivia turns around, looking at me before looking back at jere, talking to him. "y/n, i need you to sub in, now." olivia says. i process what she just said, standing up. jeremiah walks over to me, talking off the jersey and throwing it to me. i take off my shirt, putting the jersey on.