In Aid

14. Consequences

I took the bus back to the hotel, getting off early and walking the rest of the way with a lit cigarette to delay the inevitable. I should have been hurrying to get back and wash the smell of smoke, sweat and sex off me, but at the same time, I didn't want to go back. The guilt was like a large raincloud hanging over my head.

I didn't even understand why I felt so guilty for sleeping with Jeff again. I'd been doing it for years and I never felt guilt or shame or any of those emotions that led to self-hate. But the thought of facing Aubyn after what I had done made me not want to see him. Maybe it was because he said he'd help me get out of this situation where I was indebted to Jeff, or maybe it was because he had opened his home to me, but I couldn't imagine facing him again.

Entering the hotel, I stalled in the lobby for a good ten minutes before making my way toward the elevators. I didn't even get to the giant metal doors. A man dressed in the hotel staff's uniform stopped me.

"ID please."

"Uh... sure," I said, taking my wallet from my back pocket and looking for my ID. I showed it to the man who shook his head at me.

"Your work ID."

"Oh, no, I don't work here," I said quickly, but to my ears, I sounded as if I was tripping over my own words. I wondered if he was mistaking me for someone else. "I'm staying here temporarily on the top floor," I explained.

"This hotel is for Othanaian employees and guests, Sir," the man said.

"I'm staying with someone from Othanai," I tried to explain.

"Could you join me at the front desk for a moment while we confirm that?"

Not wanting to cause any problems, I followed him to the front desk. "I'm staying with Aubyn Gessel, and Sang and Milan Ionadi. They're in a suite on the top floor," I explained to the woman at the front desk.

"Can I have your name please?" she asked.

"Zedikai Haida," I told her, then spelt it out slowly. The bright lights of the lobby were bothering me. I wasn't even sure how I managed to get back to the hotel on foot since I wasn't very sober.

"I'm sorry, but we don't have your name registered to any of the rooms."

"It wouldn't be because I'm only staying here temporarily. Milan Ionadi should still be up there. Can you call him so he can verify this information?" I asked. This had never happened before, but then again, I had always had Aubyn by my side whenever I was entering the hotel, so maybe they never had a reason to stop me. "I've been staying with him for three days now."

"I'm sorry, Mr Haida, but we are unable to contact him directly. Can you give us the names of the Othanaian employees you said you were staying with again? They might have rooms reserved under their names along with their contact information."

I sighed. "Aubyn Gessel and Sang Ionadi." I pulled out my phone and gave her the number I had for Aubyn. Sang said it was his work number, but it should be enough.

"Alright then. Please have a seat while we get in contact with him. We'll have them verify that you have the clearance to proceed up to their room. It should not take long."

With a groan, I found the nearest chair and rested my arm over my eyes to block out some of the light. I was feeling twitchy and nervous, and I just wanted to get up to the suite and take a shower. I got that they were most likely doing it for security reasons, but I was becoming beyond annoyed. I didn't expect to be stopped for this.

"Excuse me, Mr Haida."

I removed my hand and squinted at the woman from the front desk nervously standing two feet away. "Yeah?"