In Aid

35. Monsters

"Language, Zedikai," Aubyn warned in that low, sexy tone of his.

"Don't 'Language, Zedikai' me," I mocked, rage overriding my fear. "You scared me! That thing is the same thing you have tattooed on your back. Your spirit animal! You..." I sounded like a bumbling idiot. It had to be true, yet it sounded impossible enough that I almost didn't want to say it out loud. "You turn into that thing."

"That 'thing' is me, and I am it. I did not mean to scare you. I am sorry," Aubyn said. He stood in all his naked glory and went to get his clothes off the mat stack so he could get dressed. "Did Sang tell you? You called my name before I changed back."

"Did Sang tell me that you turn into... that? No. It was a wild and crazy guess because I remembered your tattoo." I got to my feet shakily. My hands and from my hips down felt numb. Was I in shock? "This doesn't make sense." Maybe the cocaine and the smoking had finally caught up to my underdeveloped brain and I was having one hell of a hallucination.

"Maybe not to you..."

I felt faint yet jittery. Before I passed out though, I needed to know a few things and hopefully, I'd remember them when I woke up. "This is what you've been hiding from me, isn't it? You clam up every time I ask you about being a purka and what your life is like on Karys and Downton Isles."

"Yes."

At least he didn't deny it. I slowly sunk back to the floor. Standing was not doing me any favours.

"Are you going to run now? The man you have wanted to have sex with is apparently a monster." Aubyn turned to me, his shirt in his hands.

"I've lived with monsters. You don't even come close." I could tell he was tense and still angry from the time he came back to the suite. Monster? No. An awesome but scary shapeshifter? Fuck yes. "Will you show me again?" I asked. I'd been too scared shitless the first time to pay much attention.

"What?" he asked, expression clearly showing that he hadn't expected my request.

"I... want to see you in that form again. Your..." What had he called it? I remembered him saying it was a right of passage of some sort. "Uh, I don't really know how to say it."

"Hieu," he said. He dropped his shirt on top of the mats and began to slowly undress again.

"Hieu," I repeated as I watched him, feeling a bit better, calmer. When he was naked again, I watched unblinking as he changed in front of me. It was as if his muscles and bones were rearranging themselves underneath his skin before his body burst into black fur and sharp claws and teeth. I gasped as seeing him as his Hieu, sitting there reminding me of a black panther with sabre teeth and cuter ears.

I crawled forward awkwardly to get closer, my heart racing since I was going against instinct trying to touch an animal that looked like it could end my life in the half-a-second it would take me to blink. But it wasn't just an animal. It was hard to believe that it hadn't taken over Aubyn, but I had to believe that it was him. Just in a different form.

"You should have told me sooner," I said, my fingers brushing his fur. It felt just as soft and silky as I imagined his hair to feel. "If you had, I would have gotten used to you looking like this by now. Before you change back, I want to tell you something. Coen said you were angry, so I hope this will cheer you up a bit. I uh..." I could only hope he would want me to join him. Closing my eyes tightly, I said, "I want to take the job at the Department of Community Protection".

The soft fur between my fingers turned to warm skin. "Have you really thought about it?"

"There's nothing to think about."