House, Not home | Harringrove

Keep it together, Steve

As much as they want to stay together, Billy and Steve decide to call it a day on their hanging out. Neither of them had expected they'd spend as much time together as they do and they figure they need to tone it down a little. 

Steve drives to the grocery, and Billy goes home, both boys off to have very different evenings. 

Steve pushes his cart around the store, going up and down every aisle even though he doesn't really need to. He takes his time, hoping to somehow get out of the inevitable dinner or to escape the counting down to his scrutinizing as he looks at just about every kitchen gadget on the shelves. 

What is his mother making anyway? He tries to figure out as he tosses the items on her list into his cart. He's not sure what bizarre dish will require both SpaghettiOs and lobster, but he won't be surprised if, whatever she cooks, she calls it exotic— a recipe she'd come across while traveling. 

It would be nice if things could go well tonight, but Steve already knows how the evening will go: He'll wear a nice sweater and slacks, not jeans (too casual), to appease his parents. His mother will tell him how handsome he looks (she's always told Steve looks just like her) and that he needs a haircut. His father will comment that he looks thinner and not-so-lightheartedly add that a real man can't be so small, that he can't have his son weighing as little as his wife (he may even tell Steve that if Steve can't get back on track people will talk. They'll say Steve's become a loser, a freak, or if he's grouchier than usual: a faggot). 

They'll sit down and talk about the weather in Hawkins, which isn't very good, and his father will ask him how the Tigers are playing. Steve, who's been preparing for this question, will say that the team is doing alright, and he'll detail a few good moments. Once they spend a sufficient amount of time talking about nothing, his father will talk about school and how Steve needs to graduate, and then do this and that, and how he needs to be ready if he's ever going to be fit to take over the company. Steve will sit and nod, play the good son who's just been having a phase, and apologize for everything wrong with him. The rest of the evening remains unknown. He knows he'll go to sleep hoping they're gone when he wakes up.

Steve pushes his cart towards the cash, the wheels squeaking when he turns it. He begins unloading his items onto the belt. "Steve Harrington?" The cashier says, and Steve looks up to see who it is.

Patrick, or Pat, is his name. He'd graduated the previous year and had played basketball with Steve. "Oh hey, Pat," he says and smiles. 

"Damn, didn't expect to see you tonight. I'd recognize that hair anywhere, man," Pat laughs and Steve, out of courtesy, does the same. As Pat rings up his items and they make small talk, mostly about Hawkins high (real' fascinating stuff), Steve starts to think. He starts to imagine how life down the road could look. Pat did alright in high school, yet here he is, still in Hawkins, still nothing, and still nobody. Steve's grades aren't great— he knows that— and at this rate, he'll end up just like this: working minimum wage in Hawkins, Indiana living off his parents until they decide he's no longer worth it and kick him out to erase the stain he's made on their lives. 

He taps his hand against his leg as Pat finishes bagging his items. Hurry up, he thinks. He'd been taking his sweet time, and now it's as if he can't get out of the store fast enough. "Thanks, dude. See you," Steve mumbles as he walks away and out of the store. His heart rate has climbed, and he has this terrible, soul-sucking, antsy feeling in his body. It feels almost as though his diaphragm is eating itself from the inside.

He tosses the grocery bags in the backseat and gets in the car, shoving his key in and turning it to start the car. He drives off, still and silent. He wants to scream, slam his fists against the dash, and break shit, but he can't move.