Last One To Forever (book 1)

4

When I got home, the happiness I felt faded away. All I feel is sadness and loneliness. What's the point of having a house? when you can't even call it home. It's big and bright, but don't look inside, because all you will see is glamorous and emptiness. What's the point of all of these? When I can't even cherish what is mine. Is it really even mine?

"Yaya, paki dala nalang po sa room ko yung foods. Salamat" she was about to say something but she didn't have the chance.

I went to my room and prepared some nighties and went to the bathroom to take warm bath.

I looked in the mirror just to see my tired face, my eyes that expose all of my emotions. All I can do is smile to still look pleasant.

Just how many times do I have to say "I'm ok, I'm fine" to myself until it becomes true? I keep lying, believing one day that lie will become true, how long do I have to wait.

Why? Just why do they have to hurt me? The ones that I love, they never gave me the chance to love them without me getting hurt and miserable in the end

These are the questions I keep asking myself, but I never had the answer to any of them, somehow, somewhat, the hope is still there, it was ruined many timea but look at it, anjajaan parin siya, standing so tough.

Lumabas na ako ng cr at humilata nalang sa kama ko, doing nothing is really satisfying.

"Ma'am Diona, andidito na po ang dad niyo, sasabayan niyo po ba siyang kumain?" what for? to look like a shameful peasant infront of his new family? No way.

"Hindi na po, paki dala nalang po dito yung foods, salamat" Yaya Abel is like my mother. She's the mother that I grew up with, because my mom was never there, I don't even know if you can call my mom a Mother, because if you call her a mother, thag will an insult to those mothers who actually love and care for their children.

"Walang anuman po ma'am Diona" Wealth is sure nice, but what's the point if you can't enjoy it with your family. Sometimes, I wish na sana si Yaya Abel nalang ang nanay ko, kahit mahirap siya masaya namam siya, nabibigay naman niya lahat ng needs ng family niya, at anak niya, she gives them lots of love and time too. Pero bakit hindi magawa ng tatay ko yun?

In reality, in every aspects of life money is happiness and a problem solver, but for me, money is just a key to that happines, or even far from being a key, because real happiness comes when you have nothing at all. That's when you will learn how to cherish what you have, and learn how to enjoy the things that is there, that's when you'll know the word called Contentment.

In this world, you'll never have what you really want, the real happiness and peace that you are looking for, you'll never have that here, because humans always craves for more. I learned that when I read the bible, it's true. Even if you are an atheist you know it yourself, in this world you'll never have what your heart desire, because contentment is not enough to satisfy humans greed.

That explains why my father is like that, or I'm just too selfish and hurt to understand his real reason and accept it with all of me.

*knock knock*

"Who's there?"

"Kuya mo"

"Kuya mo who?"

"Kuya mong gwapo"

"Why are you here?" bumangon ako para lang tignan ang pag mumuka niya, baka kasi totoong gwapo siya, hayst sana di na lang ako nag expect para hindi ako na di-disappoint ng ganito.

"Fix your face, you look ugly right now sis" kapal niya.

"Why are you here?" daming sat-sat di nalang sagutin ang tanong ko, need pang ulitin.

"I'll eat here with you" what's with him? may nakain ba siya na kung ano?

"Your expression is exposing your thoughts" buti naman, I hope ma gets niya at lumayas na siya dito sa room ko.

"Ma'am Diona, eto na ho ang pagkain" kinuha ko yung food at nginitian si Yaya.

"Salamat yaya" she smiled at me and left the room, if kuya is nor here, I'm sure she'll ask if she can eat with me. Epal lang si kuya kaya hindi siya nag ask.

"Ayan lang pagkain mo? Ano ka baby?" daming alam neto, di nalang kumain.

"Just shut up and eat" ang dami niyang dada.