Stumbling Steps

29| on the way to your heart

BLAKELY:

How long does it take for a realization to settle in? Even Google doesn’t have this answer. But if there is a survey form and they are intending to find it, I will voluntarily fill the form.

Because people like me are not just academically challenged but they are also challenged in realizing things.  

Blakely Frank Rosenheim is an absolute idiot. 

There’s always that one moment in your life where realization dawns upon you and in that one moment you understand everything. I had my moment where I understood my feelings. Not just my feelings, everything. The mess in my mind and heart vanished like it never was there. Instead of a frown, I had a smile on my face.  

Everything set into its place. In that one moment I knew what answer I had to give to Kev. I had tried for a week straight, thinking and thinking, coming to a decision but I couldn’t understand. But as my father said, I’ll know and realization will come itself. It did. Weirdly, realization dawned upon me at exact three thirty three in the morning. After that I hadn’t slept. My mind kept repeating about only one person… 

Kevin

Although I was met with disappointment when I knocked on his house door at eight in the morning and found out that he wasn’t at home, I had decided I wasn't going to wait.

Why is this idiot not at home at eight in the morning? Or where is he at eight in the morning?

My rational mind neurons would always tell me to wait for him to return but right now my irrational mind neurons had taken over so I was in no mood to wait for him. Fishing out my phone from my hoodie pocket, I quickly dialled his number. The first and second call went unanswered but he did pick up on the third one.

“Where are you?” I sounded desperate and maybe loud. One week. One whole week of not conversing. One whole week of not seeing each other. How did I even get through the week without my best friend? I hope he did pick up from my tone that I wanted to talk about serious things. He took a long deep breath from the other side before I heard his voice.

“Geez girl. Why are you so loud in the morning?” He didn’t answer my question, something I really didn’t appreciate while I stood outside the warmness of my home in the cold while only wearing a hoodie and food printed pyjamas. “I’m at our usual hideout. Why?”

“Stay there. Don’t go anywhere. Okay?” I hung up the call in a hurry, not giving him a chance to ask another question. I slapped my cheeks a couple of times, passing some heat through my hands and I set off. 

I was running through the streets. The secret place was twenty minutes away if I walked but since I was running I might reach there in fifteen. However, my plan of reaching there faster by five minutes was set back when I tripped over my own shoelaces and fell face first into the ground. 

One day, you will fall super hard Ly.

Kev’s voice rang in my ears. Either metaphorically or physically, I did fall super hard.

I had protected my face from any potential injuries by covering it with my hands. Hence, there were scraps on the upper side and side of both of my palms and my left knee. The pain didn’t hinder my plans to run since I was high on adrenaline. Tying my shoelaces somehow which I bet are going to come loose in a couple of minutes I stood up dusting my clothes, hurting my open wounds in the process. And I ran again.

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I saw Kevin on the other side of the stairs from afar. My lungs were burning and my throat felt parched but I didn't stop. I was not going to walk in the end. Bad decision, I tell you because as soon as I reached near, I jumped over the brick tunnel as the stones were also built on the ground as well, and ran over the stairs, I stumbled forward. These darn shoelaces.