Shirtless Ryan pt. ii

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⚠️This chapter has some sexual stuff⚠️

I wake up and I still feel scrambled from the events of last night. I can feel my eyes are still puffy from crying. I can't believe Jack could just throw our relationship out the window over one thing. I wish there was something different I could have done.

Then I remembered that Ryan had kissed me. A small smile spreads across my face. I felt kind of bad though. I still cared about Jack, and if he knew his brother kissed me less than an hour after he broke up with me, he would be absolutely crushed. I hadn't even had time to process anything yet. I didn't know if what I was feeling toward Ryan is real, or if I was trying to distract myself from how badly I was hurting.

Half of me never wanted to see Jack again and the other half wanted him to show up and apologize and say we could get back together. I just wanted everything to be okay. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that this was his fault.

Maybe I should just move on?

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I was making coffee when I heard a knock at the door. I thought maybe it was Jack coming to apologize, but that was wishful thinking.

I walk over and see Ryan standing outside with his hands nervously shoved into his pockets. I suddenly get that same feeling in the pit of my stomach. The same one I felt when he kissed me.

I open the door and he turns back to me from whatever he was looking at.

"Hi" he says, nervously.

"Hey" I say "Do you need something?"

"I want to talk to you. Can I come in?" He asks.

"Yeah, of course." I say.

Then I hear my phone start ringing in my pocket. It was Jack.

"I have to answer this. You can sit on the couch over there, if you want." I say, before rushing to my bedroom and closing the door.

My shaky hand pressed the answer button and I hold my phone up to my ear.

"Hello?" I say.

"H-hi" Jack stutters.

"Are you okay, Jack?" I ask.

"Y-yeah, I'm just nervous. I didn't expect you to pick up."

"O-oh, well, I didn't expect you to call. I figured you were still furious with me."

"Y-yeah. That's what I wanted to talk about. That was a mistake."

"W-what do you mean?" I ask.

"I shouldn't have snapped at you. And I-I shouldn't have tried to pressure you into telling me what was wrong. It was all my fault and I would do anything in the world to change it, and try to mend our relationship. But it's up to you if what I did is forgivable." Jack says, and I could hear the sheer pain in his voice.

"It's not all your fault. I was in the wrong too. But I think I need some time to think about it."

"I understand." He says, and I could tell he was starting to cry.

"Even if we're not together, I still love you, Jack. I always will."

"I love you too." He says, and his voice cracks.

He hangs up.

Now I was even more confused then I was before.

I loved Jack more than anybody, but I keep getting this feeling when I'm around Ryan. Maybe it's the fact that he's unfamiliar to me that makes him so much more attractive. Maybe everything I was feeling was sexual. The more I ponder that, the more it makes sense. Maybe all I wanted to do was hookup with him?

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