Hope

DREAM

Kaveri's POV

After spending sometime in the park, Ritika dropped me at my house and went to back to her home. I know that both Ritika and Charan want me to move on. I know they only have good intentions. But the thought of forgetting about my children and moving on seems unfair to my children.

The rest of the day, Ritika's words were running in my head. I tried to watch telivision to distract myself but eventually Ritika's words and my children were only running in my head.

I never understood how easily Krishna could forget my children. I knew they were not healthy but still they were his children. He was very excited when I conceived for the first time. He would always talk about our children. He even had plans about their future, their names their schooling, their marriages, their children. He dreamt a lot about our children and he would say that we would grow old together. But now everything has changed.

Thinking about all these gave me a headache and eventually sleep took over me.

I felt my children around me in white dresses. I could not stop the tears rolling down. Everyone mocked my children for their looks but all those stupid people don't have healthy eyes. My children are the world's most beautiful kids. They have the purest smiles on their faces. I felt at peace seeing their faces.

My little angels are my life. How could I ever forget them? I would never do that. They called me Amma which made me cry again. They never called me "Amma" when they were alive. I wanted my children to grow up and call me "Amma".

Seeing me cry, they wiped my tears and said, "Do you know that it hurts us when you cry?" I looked at them and they continued, "We liked how you smiled today. We also liked that you ate a lot of food today. We want you to be happy and eat a lot of food. We hate seeing you cry all the time."

Listening to them, I started thinking about what Ritika was saying. My children hate to see me cry. But I didn't know why tears were still rolling down my eyes and said, "But you guys felt me alone. Why did you leave me alone. Do you know I stay alone in this house. I get scared. I don't feel good here. I just want to stay with you."

My children said, "Amma! We are always with you. But we will soon leave you if you cry all the time." Listening to them, I was shocked and immediately wiped my tears and said, "Are you threatening me. I'm your mother."

To which Shiva said, "You taught me this. You threatened me when I was with you that you would leave me if I don't drink milk." I once again cried and said, "Do you remember all those." Shiva wiped my tears and said, "Amma! No crying. I remember everything Amma. Now tell us! Would you cry again?"

I immediately said, "No. I would never cry. But promise me that you won't leave me ever." My children promised me to never leave me alone and I promised them that I would never cry.

As I woke up from the sleep it's almost midnight. I remembered the dream. I understood that my children don't want me to be sad. I decided to be happy. I searched for my phone to see that's it's broken. I don't remember when I broke it. I wanted to buy a new mobile but I don't have money. I don't know from where I can get money. So, I searched the entire house but didn't find sufficient money. I gave away all the jewellery and cards Krishna has given me on the day I agreed to divorce him.

I wanted to borrow some money but I didn't know from whom. Then, suddenly, I remembered about the kitty bank I had. I searched for the kitty bank in the entire house but found none. Then, I remembered that I still had a lot of stuff in Krishna's room.

In the morning, I went to their house and Ramya greeted me and I felt awkward to interact with her but said, "I have my stuff here. I need them now."

To which Ramya looked confused and before she could say anything, I said "It's ok. I'll go and find on my own" and went upstairs. I went in the direction of our bedroom. It looked very different. It looks beautiful. I was observing the room when suddenly Krishna hugged me from the back and I froze on the spot. I hated his touch. I wanted to slap him for touching me but he said, "Ramya! Why do you look so different today?"

I felt like he has slapped me with the reality and I immediately pushed him away and said, "I have my things here. But I'm not able to find it here."

He looked uncomfortable and said, "Wait! I'll bring your things here" and went out. Few minutes later Krishna's children came inside and said, "What are you doing in our parent's room?" I was shocked and felt disgusted and immediately went out of the room. This was the same room which witnessed everything that has happened.

It was Krishna's room before our marriage. I would spend a lot of time here with him. This is where Krishna kissed me for the first time, this is where I spent the happiest moments of my life. This was our room after our marriage.

I felt humiliated in this house unfortunately this is the same house where I grew up. I immediately want to leave this house but first, I want to take my stuff from here and never come back.

Seeing that Krishna is taking a lot of time, I was wandering in the house, when I the door of storeroom open. I went inside only to see Krishna searching for something. He looked shocked and a bit of guilt was visible but it doesn't matter to me anymore.

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