Candy Hearts

The Power Of Madonna

Sue– Madonna. Simply saying the word aloud makes me feel powerful; even in voice-over. How I have worshipped her ever since I was a little girl. Sorry, Angie Jolie, Cathrine the Great. Madonna is the most powerful woman to ever walk the face of the Earth.

"I'm instating a new policy whereby we play Madonna's greatest hits over the P.A. system quite loudly throughout the entire school day," Sue said to Figgins as she held up a Madonna cd and threw it onto his desk. "But blasting her delicious hooks would make it impossible for the students to concentrate," Figgins argued against her proposal. "Ah, who cares? Madonna never finished college." Sue said with a shrug. "She hopped a cab for the bright lights of New York City with 35 bucks in her pocket. And I think we should encourage our pupils to do the same. You say the word, and I will provide you a list of the students I believe should be rounded up and shipped off immediately." Figgins shook his head, "I'm sorry, Sue. This is insanity!" Figgins exclaimed as he slapped the palm of his hand against his desk.

"What you call insanity, I call inspiration. Let me break it down for you." Sue leaned her palms against his desk to hover over him, "It's been the biggest dream of my career to pay homage to Madonna, the woman most responsible for my take-no-prisoners demeanor and my subconscious tendency to always be desperately looking for someone named Susan. And now my Cheerios squad this year finally has the talent to make that dream come true." She lifted a hand to point sternly at Figgins, "You will not take that dream from me. Do you not understand the blackmail process and how it works?" She asked as she stood back straight, placing her hands on her hips. "I have your wife's phone number on speed dial. To recap, you will be playing those Madonna hits throughout the day at an earsplitting volume. Understood?"

❥

Rachel stared blankly as she watched Y/n draw a cartoonish image of her with the word 'loser' carved into her exaggerated forehead. "Can I ask you guys something private?" She asked the room of girls, minus Y/n. "Yes, you should move to Israel," Santana said as Y/n showed Quinn the drawing, making her let out a stifled laugh. Rachel took one of the set-aside stools and sat on it in front of the other girls, "It's about dating." Y/n nodded, "Oh, this is girl talk." He picked up his backpack as he stood and Quinn yanked him back down to his seat by its other strap. "Not that I'm dating anyone. We all know that Finn and I are no longer an item, and for the sake of the team, I broke up with Jesse." Mercedes nodded to indicate she was listening as Rachel took a deep breath, "But let's just say I was dating someone. Let's just say, hypothetically, we went to a Wiggles concert last Friday night," Brittany stifled a laugh at the brunette's admission. "And then because my dads weren't home, we went up to my room and started making out."

Y/n scrunched up his face in disgust and looked over to where Mr Schuester had entered the room as Rachel continued, "It was erotic and romantic. And then he said—

"We should do it." Jesse said as he hovered over Rachel. She pulled back slightly, "it?" She questioned. He nodded into the kiss, "Totally. Haven't you done it before?" Rachel spoke into the kiss before pushing him back by his chest, "No, have you?" Jesse let out a chuckle, "What do you think? It's no big deal."

"What if then he got really crabby and left, and didn't even take home the Care Bear I won him playing Skee Ball?" Quinn rolled her eyes as Y/n placed his hands over her stomach, a poor attempt at covering the child's ears. "Would you please stop talking? You're grossing out my baby." Quinn said as she pushed away Y/n's hands. Rachel shook her head, "I just wanna be ready. I know I'm getting older, and these things are gonna happen someday, but how do I stop a guy from getting mad at me for saying 'no'?" Santana shook her head, "Just do what I do. Never say no." Y/n cleared his throat, "Intertwining a bit from the male perspective; You can't stop a guy from getting mad. And honestly, if he does get upset break up with him. You shouldn't have to take disrespect from someone who's supposed to care about you." Quinn nodded and Rachel looked around the group for girl-on-girl advice, "Look, girl, don't ask me. The last guy I liked was the mayor of Gay Town. And I can't wait to get a guy mad at me for saying no."