Sun and Moon, Dusk and Dawn

Chapter 2

I walk back to camp, and go to my tent. I set it up far away from camp, and I don't think anyone saw me come back.

I don't want anyone to see me. None of this would have happened if we just left Mount Targon. None of this would have happened if the Lunari turned and fought.

We have to live in the shadows, afraid that at any point the Solari will come marching in here and kill us all.

Why did the gods create the sun and moon if humans were only ever meant to see one?

It doesn't make sense. I kick the burnt out oil lamp and it clatters to the ground.

I groan and sit down on the thin sheet that is my bed. I slam my pillow over my head. I want to forget. I don't want to think. I want someone to come in and take all my thoughts away, lock them in a box and throw away the key.

Aphelios, don't think like that. Alune says. I hadn't even realized I was projecting my thoughts to her. This happens sometimes when I get emotional. I hate it. I hate that she sees me weak. I hate that I'm the one here and not her. I hate that were both just as trapped.

I get up and walk over to the corner of the tent. I fish around in my backpack and pull out the jar of black poison. I press my lips to the jar and drink. My eyes water as the poison sears my throat. It feels as though a thousand knives are being shoved down my throat.

It's feeling.

It's what's left.

My senses clear and I feel Alune's presence grow stronger.

Phel maybe you should take a break. You've been doing so much fighting and training.

I ignore her and keep drinking. I have to feel. I have to know that I'm capable of feeling anything. Gods, I just killed a little girl and couldn't even cry. I'm more angry about that one Herald wanting to send me away than the actual action.

I don't need a break.

You can't keep living like this! There's pain in her voice. You deserve to live a life as much as anyone else! And stop drinking that God's forsaken poison, you'll make yourself sick!

I take the jar away from my lips. It's well over half drained. My body is reverberating with power. Without even thinking crescendum appears in my hand. I rub my fingers over the curved blade. It's smooth, and cold, and sharp. I slide my finger along the blade and blood rises onto my finger, beading and running down my hand. The energy flowing through me heals the cut instantly. It doesn't hurt, there's only the stickiness of the blood and the sharp burst of power flowing through my fingers.

I pick up the jar again. I want more. I can't resist.

The poison hardly even touched my lips before the flap of my tent is thrown open.

Two of the Lunari elders walk in with stern looks in their faces.

"Good to see you're gathering your things Aphelios." One of them says.

They're just saying that. They want to scare you into submission, they don't actually want you to leave. They still need a protector. Unless they're going to actually take my advice and leave Targon, leave the conflict with the Solari.

"Protections should not come at the cost of life. You were sent for a recon mission, a scout. But now many people are dead, including one of our own." His voice is stern, immovable, disappointed. "The elders have decided to send you to Ionia to heal, so you will be ready to devote yourself to the gods once more. When you get to Ionia, you will seek out Karma, she will help you gain control of your strength once more."

They're actually serious. I stand up, wanting to protest.

"Nothing you say will sway this decision. Aphelios, you are hereby exiled from the Lunari until further notice."