𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓!

𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧

━━━━━

life.

it's shit, really.

or that's what neymar thinks as he mindlessly juggles the ball at his feet, his teammates doing shooting drills nearby. it's a ridiculously cold winter morning; there's rain falling down, raindrops soaking into his training kit and spattering lightly on his face.

it's cold.

but neymar isn't really worried too much about the weather.

it's been weeks.

weeks since the truth came out. weeks since everything went to complete shit. weeks since his fiancée called off their engagement. and in typical amirah fashion, she's been busy. she's been busy, working extra hard on fulfilling all her duties as psg's media manager, according to rafaella, and that's why she won't take his calls.

it's 'cause she's busy.

but, busy?

more like 'ignoring him'. more like, 'finding ways to avoid him.' he knows she's still upset. he knows she's still mad at him. he knows he's fucked up, but he's been trying to apologise for ages and he can't because amirah won't give him the opportunity to do so.

and because amirah won't give him the time of day, because she always conveniently finds ways of never finding herself in the same space as him, neymar becomes more frustrated and more distracted because he should have never let that thing with aspen go as far as it did; he shouldn't even be in this situation.

and that thought neymar can't dwell on because it infuriates him to the point that it actually just makes him very, very sad.

he constantly replays the events that led up to the affair and wishes he could take it back. because now, now he feels so unhappy and so empty. because all the things he'd typically do with her, he's doing them alone.

and that's another thing that's been hitting neymar hard lately. that if he was struggling to function without amirah for only a few weeks, how would he cope for the rest of his life?

he really wishes he could take it back.

but, he can't.

"he's brooding, again," his friends say behind his back.

he hasn't really had too much time for them lately. he hasn't had time for anyone, really. he'd rather go to training and then come straight home. he'd rather not see anyone at all, actually.

he'd rather not hear the annoying think pieces about his relationship. he'd rather not have to face the disapproving looks or the pitying glances. he'd rather not hear how he looks a mess, or that he seems not to have been getting much sleep. he'd rather not hear that his attitude is shit. he'd rather ignore the thoughts that consume him. he'd rather ignore the sinking feeling in his chest.

in all honesty, he hasn't been getting sleep. he lies awake and misses the added warmth of amirah's skin and the softness of her hair and the smell of her body wash.

in all honestly, he has been angry. he's a "ticking time bomb," marco said one day to kylian, because neymar replays the events of the past few weeks again and again and wishes only for amirah to stop ignoring him. he wishes that she'd unblock his phone number and talk to him. he wishes she'd curl up on the couch beside him, again. he wishes to kiss her lips and feel her skin against his.

he just wishes things would return to how they were before.

"just talk to her," kylian says as they finish their training session for the day. he's tired of seeing his best friend like this. "i mean, how difficult can it be? she literally works here, you can just walk up to her office."

"you must not know amirah," neymar glares. "when that girl wants to avoid someone, she sure as hell avoids them."

"she's not over you though," marco joins the conversation as they step inside the building, eager to remove their soaked training kits.

"yeah?" neymar retorts, because that sounds like bullshit. "how would you know that?"

"i just..." marco shrugs as neymar lifts a brow; he's unconvinced. "i just know."

"just go to her, bro." kylian groans, because this is weird. it's just weird seeing neymar and amirah apart. "the least you can do is talk to her."

neymar runs a hand down his face. "well, she's not trying to talk to me."

"then make her."

the brazilian scoffs, sarcastically muttering, "yeah, because it's that easy."

"talk to her," marco says seriously, and neymar listens because this is marco actually being serious with him. "'cause she doesn't hate you," he shakes his head, "i promise you, she doesn't hate you."