Shut Up & Listen book FOUR.
"Why doesn't he want to play with me anymore?"
The question this twenty something has had ringing in his head many times before. Whether it be his brother, a friend or a lover-Lonnie James is often left standing alone o...
glossary: •bog: pronounced bold with out the 'd'. Detroit slang short for bogus; meaning not fair, not right, messed up.
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<lonnie>
Thursday June 9 10AM
𝕱𝖆𝖈𝖎𝖓𝖌 the hot lights from the vanity with music lightly playing from the phone on the other end of the table, Cole sat in hair and makeup chatting with the hairstylist he'd been working with for years. He found Kalis on YouTube and invited her on his last tour to braid his hair and she's been with him ever since. He was getting ready for a photo shoot promoting his upcoming album. The two of them laughed and cried as they sat in the makeshift salon for hours talking about any and everything that came to them. Naturally, the topic came to Cole's overdose as it was widespread across the internet and social media when it happened. Kalis has been respectful about it, paying extreme focus to the comb parting it's way through Cole's thick hair. She held her breath before asking, "Is it okay if we talk about what happened?"
Her eyes raised from the scalp to the mirror where their eyes met for a few seconds. Cole chuckled nervously, almost lost for words.
"Never mind, it's too fresh."
"Nah, it's alright." He sighed, "I haven't talked about it with nobody actually." He furrowed his brows at the realization. "Nobody has asked. Except Dame, but, it was only cuz he felt bad. He just felt guilty. I told him it was an accident so he would just shut up about it."
"It wasn't?" She asked, disturbed by his bluntness.
He watched himself in the mirror, thinking about that night just as he has everyday since it happened. "You know I had this friend. We was childhood friends. He passed away few years ago."
"He was murdered." He said slowly as the last word escaped his mouth for the very first time. "It shook me up real bad when I found out. I ain't been right since." He confessed. She put her hand on his shoulder. "I think about him all the time. We spent so many years attached at the hip, it was like there was never a time when we didn't know each other. It was like, our lives didn't really matter before then."
"How old were you when you met?"
He shrugged, smiling, "shit, ion even remember. I just feel like he was always there. I can't even imagine a time when he wasn't in my life. I try to imagine it all the time, and I just can't. I lay at night thinking, Nigga, you been alone before. You did it without him before, you can handle this shit now." He laughed, "straight lying to myself. I can't do shit without him."
"If he was here and I tried some like that, he would've known before I even did it. He woulda seen the signs and cussed my ass out for even thinking about it. Nobody else know me like that." He sniffed, "nobody ever knew me like that. Not even Dame and I known him longer. Like, I had to call his ass before he even thought, oh shit, lemme go check on my brother. Maybe Cole is having a hard time with this grieving shit." He shook his head, "oh my bad." He apologized for moving while she was working.
