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07: IN VAIN. Leah
Four years ago. . .
“Dad!”
I ran into his office and opened the door, finding him in his chair and he smiled. Tears were already spilling down my cheeks as I dropped my helmet and ran to him, forgetting how much pain he was in as I wrapped my arms around him.
“Dad, why-why didn’t you tell me? Why did I have to find out from mom that you’re sick again?” I almost went AWOL trying to get back to him. But luckily, I didn’t have to fight anyone because if Admiral Kazansky is in pain, everyone knows nothing will stop Rampage.
He groaned as he moved his hands towards his computer keys. I removed myself from him and sat down on the extra chair he always kept for me in his office.
“You have lost so much already. I didn’t want to worry you.”
“And what?! Was I supposed to find out when you’re six feet under?” I questioned.
“I was going to tell you when you were ready,” His voice was hoarse, which broke my heart even more because I knew he was probably in pain. He’s my dad, and he’s always been there for me, so the fact that this isn’t something I can make go away made me so angry.
“Ready? No one’s ready for cancer.”
“You’re. . .You’re still mourning-”
“Don’t, please, don’t turn the focus on me, dad. You’re the one in pain,” I couldn’t let him finish his sentence because I knew what he was going to say. That he didn’t tell me because I couldn’t handle it, that I couldn’t handle anymore pain in my life after everything I’ve been through. I know it’s not because he sees me as weak but who would want to tell their daughter, who has already lost the love of her life, that she might lose him too?
"What are the doctors doing?" I asked.
"Everything they can."
"That's not an answer. Why are you at home? Why aren't you at the hospital getting chemo?"
Before he could say anything else, mom came in with a handful of pills. She was smiling. She’s always been such a cheerful woman, even when bad things happened. My first car accident with a semi, dad was furious since the driver had skipped his mandatory stop and fell asleep on the road. Mom had been crying but when I woke up in the hospital, she was smiling and telling me how everything was going to be okay. I had broken my ankle, my ribs were bruised, and my neck was fractured, but she never failed to try and cheer me up.
“Don’t talk too much, honey,” She said in a soft voice, placing down the pills with a glass of water. He took them with ease, already used to taking ungodly amounts of pills.
“I can stay here. I’ll move back in and I can get myself stationed-”
“Absolutely not. Leah, you need to get back to base,” Mom told me as dad started to type out on the computer.
“Maverick will be coming by later, and your mom will be handling my doctors appointments. We will call you if we need you.’
That’s the thing.
I need you.
I need to make sure you’re okay.
“Be a Kazansky, baby. Be brave. For dad,” Mom said as she kissed my forehead. If I were sick and had my children crying and worried, I would feel bad too. Like I suddenly couldn’t do things for myself.
“Can’t I spend the day with you? I’m already here,” I said with pleading eyes.
“When did they say you had to be back?” Mom asked.
They gave me a week, actually.
But I knew me being here for a week would be suffocating for him.
“Tonight, at 2100 hours,” I replied.
And it was nice. It had been awhile since I had been home, and I cherished the time I had spent with my dad. But he saw the way I reacted and got a warning from my superiors that if I pulled something like that again, my punishment would be detramental to my career.
Which is why when it came back, he didn’t tell me.
Not until it was too late.
/// Leah and her dad have always been close, so when she found out his cancer came back, she was terrified of losing him. But he would rather die knowing she wasn't agonizing over him than her risk everything just to watch him die.
