See The Stars [Completed]

Chapter Ten

“So exactly what are you upset about?” Dr.Kimberly asked. “That he is here or that he has moved on.” 

“Both. I guess everything.” I replied. “I wanted to meet him again. Sometimes later in life when I had moved on. But now that he is here, I can’t help it. I want everything to return to the way it was. I want to be his friend. I want us to sit on the night beach without a care about the future. I want so many things that I don’t know what I want.” 

“Then why are you pushing him away?” 

“It's not like he wants to be my friend or something. He is just doing that because he is Ronan.” 

“Because he is Ronan?” 

“I don’t know.” I sigh and grab my head. It had started hurting more and more nowadays. 

Is my death near? 

“Do you want to know what I think?” She asked. I nodded. “I think you still care about him very deeply.” 

“But I don’t want to care about him.” 

“Why?”

“Because we cannot be the way we were before.” 

“Because of the accident?” 

“No. Because he was right. It was my fault.” I mumbled. Dr. Kimberly sighed. 

“Will you ever tell me what happened that day, from your perspective?” 

“One day.” I rubbed my forehead. Dr. Kimberly asked me a bit more about Ronan. I told her about how he was here with his friends. I saw them through the window. And I followed him to the restaurant too. He looked happy. He looked moved on. And that was making me jealous. I also told her how Ronan didn’t even come into the shop I was in. He was always all about no strings attached and summer stories should remain in this town. He must not want his friends to know about me. I also told her about how I fainted at his house. 

“You fainted?” She frowned and wrote down something on her iPad. 

“Yes. It must be from the shock of seeing him.” 

“Hmm. Keep going.” 

“And then I left my phone at his house and when I returned I didn’t even know that I didn’t have my phone with me. When I returned later, he had put it in the mailbox with a sticky note on the door.” 

“You kept the note.” She commented. I gasped.

“How did you know?” She only smiled secretly in response. I guess she could read my thoughts. I kept ranting about my problems to her in the session and my forehead kept hurting. When the session ended and I was halfway home on my scooter, I got her call. 

“Yes?”

“Darla, if it’s not much work for you can you please bring me the medicines you take?” 

“Today?” I shut my eyes due to the sunlight. 

“Yes.” 

“Why do you want my medicines?” 

“I think we can play around on the dosage since it isn’t treating your headaches anymore.” So she noticed my headaches. I told her I would get it. And I did. I took a taxi this time because the scooter was making me feel like I was burning. I handed the medicine to her nurse. It felt weird walking into the psychiatrist's ward. It made the feeling of being crazy all too real. A moment later, she gave me back my medicines and told me that she took one tablet out for research purposes. I looked down at my half-empty bottle. I needed to restock this shit too. I couldn’t live without it.